Sexual energy is pure, creative life force. It has the potential to create not only deep, raw feelings, intense physical connection, and inspired expressions of creativity, but also a human being! If you’re trying to enhance your fertility to conceive, learning how to awaken and nourish this life-affirming energy this will make all the difference in achieving your goal.
Most important in the following Chinese Medicine fertility tips: The Kidneys
According to Chinese medicine, the Kidneys rule sexual, life force energy in both men and women. Kidney energy dictates when a woman will get her period, the quality and quantity of her egg stores, and when she will go through menopause. The Kidneys govern libido in men and women, sperm and egg health, and overall vitality.
The story about Kidneys and money
Interestingly, in addition to relating to sexual energy, the Kidneys pertain to feelings of fear and having or not having enough resources, like money and power. If you think about it, it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re worrying about paying the bills, or feeling powerless.
It may sound strange, but taking an honest look at your finances, with your partner or on your own, might help get to the root of any fertility issues or low libido.
I’ve worked with many couples who were able to conceive after facing their financial worries and making a clear plan to feel confident and resourced.
Strengthen your Kidney-Heart connection
Kidney energy performs differently in men and women, from a Chinese medicine point of view.
While men lose Kidney energy every time they ejaculate, women can strengthen their Kidney energy through more frequent sexual activity, especially if they are consciously bringing sexual energy into their heart space.
Increasing the connection between the Heart and the Kidneys is key to nourishing fertility and raising libido in women.
Try visualizing white light flowing between the center of your chest and an area about two inches below your navel known as your Dan Tien during meditation, during an orgasm, or both.
The night my husband and I finally conceived our first child, after a year of trying, I remember we had a conversation that made me feel deeply emotionally connected to him. I know that Heart nourishing experience played a big role in strengthening my fertility.
How to take care of your Kidney energy
While men lose Kidney energy every time they ejaculate, women lose Kidney energy when they give birth. For this reason, it is imperative that a woman gives herself at least two years between pregnancies to recover her Qi, Blood, Yin, and Yang.
Both women and men can also lose Kidney energy through excessive sweating, bleeding, standing, stress, or prolonged illness.
I always advise my patients to skip hot yoga that induces too much sweating and try Yin Yoga instead, which is hormone balancing and nourishing to the Kidneys.
You’ve probably heard of adrenal fatigue, which comes from enduring prolonged stress levels. Well, the adrenal glands sit right on top of—you guessed it—the kidneys!
To protect your Kidney energy, become aware of when you are exhausting your body and explore effective strategies to regularly reduce stress and increase self-care rituals.
Access sexual energy through your feet
Every organ system in Chinese medicine corresponds to a part of the body, and the Kidneys relate to the feet.
Giving extra love and attention to your feet and your partner’s feet can help awaken libido and nourish Kidney energy.
Try taking turns giving foot massages with your partner as part of your foreplay. Or simply indulging in a foot bath with a few drops of lavender or jasmine essential oil will do the trick, too.
What’s the best time to have sex?
Just as every part of the body corresponds to an organ in Chinese medicine, so does every hour of the day.
While the Kidney time of day is 5:00pm-7:00pm, the organ system responsible for sex and circulation is the Pericardium, also known as the Heart Protector.
The best time to have sex with your partner is between 7:00pm-9:00pm, during the Pericardium time of day, when the circulation of your sexual energy is at its peak and the most in tune with your Heart energy.
What should I do, if I’m older than 35?
Speaking of the Heart, referred to as the Emperor in Chinese medicine, I’d say it’s the second most important organ system that contributes to healthy sexuality and fertility.
After age 35, a woman enters into the Heart phase of her life, also known as the Empress phase.
During this time, the Heart fire flares up and loses steady communication with the cooling water aspect of the Kidneys. Hormone levels fluctuate leading to irregular periods, mood swings, and fertility issues.
Plus, mirroring the instability of her Heart fire, she is usually grappling with big questions such as how can she become more of her authentic self, what will her life mean if she doesn’t have a baby, how does she want to contribute to the world and live her life, and so on.
Honestly answering these questions and embracing this phase of evolvement is crucial to restoring communication between the Heart and Kidneys, and therefore her fertility.
In other words, becoming right within herself, or the Queen of her own Heart, will unlock hidden stories of her fertile potential, more of who she really is, also known as Kidney Jing, leading her to sexual empowerment and a higher chance of conceiving a baby.