Are you looking to level-up your love life, and infuse it with consciousness? Practise conscious sexuality for greater passion, fulfilment, and joy.
As many of you know, we held the Conscious Sexuality Summit in September 2016. And we thought it might be a tremendous idea to share the main takeaways and practices with you in the form of this article.
So no matter whether you participated in the summit – or just stumbled about this post – I’m sure it will be incredibly helpful.
1. Prolong your love making
Speaker: Swami Vivekananda Saraswati
Talk: Sex as a Means for Spiritual Evolution
“With enough time … we can enter into altered states of consciousness.”
Time is the key during conscious sex. We should aim to prolong the duration of love making as long as we can. For beginners, aim for making love for more than 30 minutes. And for advanced folks? More than 60 minutes.
When extending the duration of love-making, and approaching it with an experiential mindset, we automatically become more mindful and perceptive of what’s happening. With enough time, and the conscious decision to have lovemaking be a spiritual experiment, we can enter into altered states of consciousness. From that space a lot of things can happen …
Find out more by hearing Swami’s talk for free: sign up here.
2. Awaken your Kundalini Energy
Speaker: Marc Steinberg
Talk: Awakening Kundalini Energy Through Love-Making
“Orgasmic energy is ultimately Kundalini energy.”
Marc Steinberg explains the principles of awakening your Kundalini Energy. This mysterious energy is capable of creating various states of bliss, up to states of enlightenment.
In preparation, you must work through your emotional and mental barriers. Before awakening your Kundalini, you need to tackle your shame, guilt, fear, as well as other shadows. This ensures that a rising Kundalini doesn’t have negative effects.
During love-making, you can use breathing techniques for awakening the Kundalini. Oxygen is the O in Orgasm and orgasmic energy is ultimately Kundalini Energy.
Learn the precise techniques Marc is teaching by purchasing the Summit Package.
3. Discover your light and shadow archetypes
Speaker: Jennifer Russell
Talk: Using Archetypes for Sexual Empowerment
“We are one of many infinite perspectives of all that is.”
Jennifer Russell introduces the profound power of subconscious archetypes.
We are all moved by archetypes in our emotional lives, and our sexuality is no exception. Discover the four archetypes that most affect your sexuality, and the qualities they represent. There are archetypes our ego likes and there are archetypes your ego dislikes. There are also archetypes that are easy and natural and there are those that are difficult.
Use the archetypes for healing, growth, and awakening. Bring consciousness to the archetypes, so you can manifest their constructive aspects. Dissolve the destructive patterns that stand between you and your highest fulfilment.
4. Develop safety, security and trust in relationship
Speaker: Andrea Cairella
Talk: How to Talk Frankly About Sex in a Relationship
“What you’re talking about is not the issue; how you are talking is important.”
Opening to conscious sexuality requires vulnerability. How do we create the trust and safety to speak honestly to one another about or deepest fears and needs?
Communication is the key. We must learn how to communicate without defensiveness.
Our defences arise from our shadow aspects, unseen barriers which produce fear and shame. We must learn to connect with and own our shadow aspects.
Empathy and validation will help support your partner to drop their defences and explore their own shadow.
5. Let go of expectations
Speaker: Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental
Talk: Letting Go Fully in the Bedroom
“Expectation is a preoccupation which is the enemy of flowing energy.”
Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental shine a light on the hidden enemy of our sexual fulfilment – expectations. Expectations are what ultimately disconnect us from our Self and our partner. Expectations stop the flow of intimacy and make it very hard for us to let go and enjoy the process. When we have the opportunity to learn to be with what is, there is no need for stagnation.
Ask yourself: How can you let go of expectations you have held for years? How can we meet our partner with complete acceptance and presence?
6. Support your partner to heal from shame and self-judgement
Speaker: Mali Apples and Joe Dunn
Talk: How Couples Can Support Each Other in Sexual Healing
“Being vulnerable is the key to intimacy.”
Many people suffer from self-judgement, and even self-hatred, when it comes to sexuality. Conscious sexuality can be the pathway to healing shame, fear, and guilt around sexuality.
Acceptance, tenderness, and trust are essential. Cultivate gratitude for the gift of your partner.
Any disconnection or uncomfortable areas in sexuality are opportunities for a deeper connection. The support of a partner can allow old pains to be brought to consciousness and healed.
Create a space where each partner is able to be their best self, to heal, to see each other’s potential, and to support one another to express that potential.
7. Play with your nerve endings
Speaker: Charles Muir
Talk: Tantric Sex for Beginners
“The biggest obstacle for people is the assumption they are already born with knowledge of love-making.”
How many people’s sex education include the idea of sacred sexuality?
Sexual energy is our fuel for enlightenment, and Tantra is about awakening more consciousness. Tantric practice can not only remove emotional and sexual blocks; it can renew our souls.
Every nerve ending can be an erogenous zone. How much do you know about the many intense pleasure spots on your body?
Explore your own orgasmic map of spiritual sexuality!
8. Let your sexual energy move through your body to transform your problems
Speaker: Shashi Solluna
Talk: How to Heal and Solve Your Problems with Orgasms
“Being orgasmic in life is complete changing the way how we see and perceive our lives.”
Have we been thinking about orgasms all wrong?
Shashi Solluna outlines a powerful practice for bringing orgasmic energy to our entire lives. Use orgasmic energy for healing, transformation, and awakening. Expand the tightness that comes with problems and fears of the orgasmic energy. Simply meet sexual energy with expansion instead of contraction. For example: Speak your problems out loud while you are feeling orgasmically turned on.
Break through the attachment to suffering. Use orgasmic energy to solve any problem.
9. Awaken your Cervix
Speaker: Olivia Bryant
Talk: The Journey to Cervical Bliss
“The cervix is a trigger point for orgasm. A connection back to spirit”
The cervix lies deep within a woman’s body, and reflects the woman’s psyche. The cervix reacts to outer circumstances. If your heart is shut down, your vagina will be shut down and your cervix contracted.
Many women are dissociated from their cervix – it is completely numb. This can be a result of emotional or sexual trauma, disrespectful relationships, or self-punishing thought habits.
Reawakening the cervix is the key to reawakening our soul.
Homeplay: Discover your cervix. Acknowledge it. And love it.
10. Play with your power, back and forth like an energy ball
Speaker: Barbara Carrellas
Talk: Spicing Up Your Bedroom With Tantric BDSM
“Power is one of the most confusing and unhealed issues on the planet. We need to learn what it is, how it works and how to use it consciously.”
Barbara Carrellas introduces Tantric BDSM – using conscious power exchange and intense sensation to enhance Tantric sexuality.
Tantric sex doesn’t have to be soft and slow. Making love in any form can be Tantric sexuality. We can play with power as we do with any other form of energy.
The giver must know how to befully in the present moment, and how to take responsibility. The receiver must be clear about what they need to completely surrender.
Erotic feedback and communication are key.
11. Let your orgasms change the world
Speaker: Laurie Handlers
Talk: Manifesting Your Desires With Sex Magic
“Instead of trying and working hard. I set my orgasm to do the work.”
Laurie Handlers explains how to use sexual energy to make real changes in the world.
There are four kinds of sex: procreational, recreational, restorative, and transformational. Sex magic happens with restorative and transformational sex.
Sexual energy can create a new life, which means it has the power to cause change at every level – even the physical. Sex magic is the deliberate use of sexual energy to fuel your intentions.
With restorative sex, you can make real changes in the body, including healing traumas, removing stress, and releasing stored tensions. With transformational sex, you can reach a state of consciousness which feels like floating in the cosmos. In this state of consciousness, any clearly held intention is immediately translated into action.
Sex Magic trick: In the moment of orgasm, plug into your desires, something very specific and imagine your sexual energy fuelling your suggestion.
12. Break the linear pattern of sex
Speaker: Drew Gerald
Talk: The Art of Conscious Foreplay
“Everything is sex, but sex isn’t everything”
Drew Gerald highlights the weakness of the traditional, linear view of foreplay heading towards sex.
Many people avoid foreplay because of the damaging expectations, habits, performance pressures, or fears they have developed around sex and intimacy.
A change of mindset, taking the focus of sex away from penetrative intercourse, can open up a whole new world of pleasure.
Explore the world of non-linear sexuality by redefining its chronology.
13. Presence is the key to being an extraordinary lover
Speaker: Triambika Ma Vive
Talk: How Any Man Can Become an Extraordinary Lover
“A man who has the ability to be present in his actions has a huge advantage.”
Triambika shows that every man already has everything he needs to become an extraordinary lover.
Men can easily feel intimidated in today’s society, where empowered women use masculine qualities to succeed in a masculine world, and men are shamed for their sexual desires.
Triambika brings the liberating message that today’s enlightened women truly want men’s desire. Desire between the masculine and the feminine is an essential force in the Universe. To suppress your sexuality is to suppress your vitality, your power, and your very self.
All men need is to use presence and awareness to channel their desire in ways that nourish them and bring life to their interactions.
14. Build your life on love, not fear
Speaker: Frank Mondeose
Talk: Living Authentic and Conscious Masculinity
“Love is giving.”
Frank Mondeose puts the spotlight on masculinity.
Men need to change their definition of what sexuality means. We need to move beyond what society and the media tell us. If you come from a place of conditioned sexuality, you will be in your mind and operate from your mind. Conscious sexuality is about connecting with your energies, your body, and your soul.
It is time for men to redefine their role. Step away from fear-based models of masculinity. Understand that we are the creators of our life. Create a life based on love, not on fear.
Authentic masculinity involves holding space for things to happen in your presence, creating safety so that the creative force of life can emerge, and witnessing without judgement.
15. Don’t focus on the goal of ejaculating
Speaker: Raffaello Manacorda
Talk: Hack Ejaculation and Last Longer
“Men need to unlearn the pattern of trying to reach orgasm as quickly as possible.”
Raffaello Manacorda introduces a revolutionary approach to male sexuality. When sex is a race to a goal, something profound is lost. Men and women are different. Women take longer to reach orgasmic peaks, so a man must learn to pace himself to truly satisfy a woman.
What happens in a man’s physiology when he learns how to make love for hours without ejaculating at all?
Men can experience sexual satisfaction, orgasm (even multiple orgasms) and intense, long-lasting pleasure, without any “let down” afterward. The resulting energy high creates a stronger bond with his partner, opens up transformative experiences, and can be channelled into work, spiritual practice, or creative processes.
16. (For Women) Squeeze your Yoni muscles and reconnect to your core
Speaker: Caroline Muir
Talk: Living a Turned-On Divine Feminine Life
“Our sexual energy fuels our mind and fuels our consciousness.”
Caroline Muir speaks about feminine sexual energy. Many women give away their power by waiting and longing to be loved, wanted and desired by another person. Without a connection to the Divine Feminine, women feel lonely and incomplete.
The solution is not to look outside, but to connect to the feminine essence within. Women who are connected with the divine feminine can bring the feminine qualities of joy and giving to a harsh, masculinized world.
Caroline shares a surprising physical exercise, squeezing the Yoni muscle, that reconnect us with the feminine core in almost no time.
17. (For Women) Practice with the Yoni Egg for power, happiness and deep wisdom
Speaker: Sofia Sundari
Talk: Awaken Your Yoni Powers
“Our Yoni is our powerhouse where our intuition is, where we can release a lot of shame and feel more free.”
Sofia Sundari explains the importance of a deep connection between the mind, the heart, and the yoni. We can access happiness, and even deep wisdom, when we access our yoni.
Expressing our erotic essence is natural, but our culture shames and suppresses our natural sexual expression. Many women disconnect partly or completely from their vaginas, and their own power.
The yoni egg practice is an apparently simple tool to forge a profound connection with our feminine power.
18. (For Women) Connect with your breasts and your heart
Speaker: Amrita Grace
Talk: How Loving Your Breasts Will Change Your Life
“Breasts are connected to the heart chakra. When we are disconnected from our breasts, we are disconnected from our heart.”
Amrita Grace examines the damaging impact of our culture’s poor relationship with breasts.
Women’s breasts have been sexualized in the past century. In fact, they have been over-sexualised. Breast size and shape has become an important element of sexual attractiveness, leading to self-esteem issues for whichever women don’t fit the fashion trend of the day for breasts.
In addition, breasts are confined in bras and subjected to a range of environmental toxins.
We can heal a lot with awareness and getting in touch with our bodies.
Breast massages, deep breaths, and loving intentions are a great way to reconnect with your breasts and your heart.
19. Look in the mirror and see
Speaker: Dr. Patti Britton
Talk: Breaking Through Shame
“90% of our sexual problems are created by our mind.”
Toxic shame causes many problems and blockages. Many people have shame about their body. Many people hold back from expressing themselves, exploring their sexuality, or loving themselves, because of shame. Negative self-talk shuts us down sexually, and makes us less available for connection and pleasure.
We can restructure our neural pathways, and replace negative self-talk with positive messages about ourselves. Mirror work is an excellent place to start the process: Look in the mirror and instead of analyzing the things you hate about yourself, try to look at the things you love and appreciate about your body.
20. Dance to find your authentic self
Speaker: Susana Frioni
Talk: Igniting Your Erotic Power Through Sacred Dance
“Spontaneity, play, fun and excitement are magic ingredients when it comes to the sexual arena.”
Susana Frioni unveils the many ways that sacred dance can open you up to more authenticity, power, and freedom.
Erotic power is the natural force of our authentic being. The more we are suppressed, distorted, and limited in our authenticity, the less we will be able to tap into our erotic nature.
Sacred dance is a portal to self-discovery, a secret passage through the layers of conditioning which otherwise would keep us bound.
Through sacred dance, we access states of deep connection, freedom, power, aliveness, openness, and confidence. We can then bring these states to the whole of life, including our sexual expression.
Discover the power of sacred dance by simply: DANCING!
21. Be more naked
Speaker: Rosie Rees
Talk: Journey to a Positive Body Image
“Getting naked is a beautiful metaphor of letting go of what no longer serves us”
Rosie Rees takes us on a journey to positive body image.
We have unrealistic expectations for our appearance. We are all unique, but we are held to a very narrow standard of beauty. Nine out of ten women dislike their bodies.
Being confident with your naked body is vital for sexual confidence.
Being naked is our natural state. We need to normalise nudity.
Homework: Be more naked. Start with home or during sleeping and take it from there.
22. Reclaim your body to experience full-body orgasm
Speaker: Lady Shepsa
Talk: Unleashing Female Full-Body Orgasm
“Reclaiming your body and the sacredness of your body helps you be orgasmic.”
Full body orgasms move throughout the whole body, instead of being localised at the genitals. The full body orgasm brings healing, spiritual connection, and a deeper connection to your partner.
They generate a powerful creative energy, which we can use for healing, manifesting our intentions, and attracting partners of a different quality.
Reclaim your body, own your sexual energy fully, use your breath to guide it through your whole body and access full body orgasms.
23. (For Men) Have amazing sex with yourself
Speaker: Eyal Matsliah
Talk: Decoding Male Orgasm
“If you want to have amazing sex, you have to know how to have amazing sex with yourself.”
Eyal Masliah decodes the mysteries of the male orgasm. The general definition of male orgasm is a fast ejaculation as an end goal. In order to decode male pleasure men has to gain complete control over his ejaculation reflex. In order to do that you to start to get to know your own body. You have to transform masturbation into a self-love, self-pleasure and connection practice.
Men need to know how to have amazing sex with themselves first.
24. Slow down and create space for glowing
Speaker: Samiel Carolina
Talk: Liberate the Glowing Woman Within
“A glowing woman feels herself first, so she can be generous in her connection with others.”
Samiel Carolina reveals the secrets of a glowing life.
Glowing happens when we feel comfortable in our own skin, when we dare to be ourselves, and we show up in our authenticity.
If we aren’t connecting deeply with ourselves, we can’t connect deeply with others.
Many people look outside themselves for connection, but this is pointless if we haven’t first connected with ourselves. When we live our lives focused on meeting outside expectations, we lose our connection with our authentic selves.
We need to ask ourselves – what fills us up? What gives us pleasure? What are our passions?
We need to slow down, to make space for the answers to these questions to emerge.
When we connect with our inner child, our joyous self-expression, we can live a glowing life.
So… I hope that helps! Admittedly some of the teachings are hard to summarize in 1-2 paragraphs.
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