So here it comes, my second podcast episode! A special one, on one of my most favorite topics (after orgasms): Femininity.
In this show I am interviewing Sofia Sundari, a very inspiring soul. She teaches bellydancing and tantra, and offers women’s workshops on femininity. Where you not only sit in circles and talk about emotions but move your sexy hips, enter the mystical temple of dance, play with Jade eggs and especially connect as sisters.
This is something I am so excited about sharing with you. I would love for you to listen to Sofia, what she has to say, because she is one of those special women inspiring other women to join the path of women’s empowerment and spiritual growth.
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In this episode, we go into detail about:
- Sofia’s transformation from lawyer to born-and-bred tantrika
- What her work is all about
- Why the power of dance connects us with our sexual energies
- Yep, we talk about the secret vagina dance :-)
- The number one tip for reconnecting to the feminine source
Links and resources mentioned:
Mariah Freya: Welcome to the orgasmic discourses podcast where it is all about conscious sexuality and super charged orgasms. My name is Mariah Freya.
In today’s show I will be interviewing Sofia, she is an amazing teacher offering tantra workshops, belly dance workshops and a lot around femininity work. We will be talking about how to reconnect to the feminine side and why it is so crucial for all women to go through this amazing process of reconnecting to our own powers. Enjoy.
Mariah Freya: Hey Sofia.
Mariah Freya: Great to have you on my show. I am really excited. Awesome. You are right now in Northern California, right?
Sofia: Yes, I am staying in meditation retreats under here, practicing pretty much full time.
Mariah Freya: Great. You are a yogini, a tantra teacher, a mystical dance teacher, and an empowerment woman coach. I looked in to your website which is the mystical femininity and you are actually traveling the show and giving different workshops all around the world. Right now, as you just said, you are based in Northern California so what are you working on?
Sofia: Actually I have a big project coming up, it is not that I constantly travel the world teaching, when I am in certain countries I try to do some work with women or do some tantra workshops together with my husband, Huber, but now I am not sure if anything is going to happen around here, it might, I am not really sure yet, but what is happening and I am really excited about something is that it looks like a longer retreat. A three to four weeks retreat in the end of the year that I will be holding somewhere in Asia for women. It will be full on feminine immersion.
Mariah Freya: Wow great.
Sofia: And you are the first one to know about it because it is a secret.
Mariah Freya: Awesome. That is great. Tell us more about it. What is happening in there? Do you have already some secrets you want to tell us?
Sofia: I really kind of wanted to create something that will help women really spend a chunk of time immersing in femininity and feminine practices because I feel like that is how we can embody this thing especially because so many women, it is something that they do not usually go to, they do not really do all these feminine practices, they do not usually dance, they do not usually talk about their sexuality and it takes some time to really transform and to allow the change to happen. Basically it will be just full time feminine practices. That is the idea.
Mariah Freya: Great. What is really interesting with your mystical femininity project is that once upon a time you started a career as a lawyer, right?
Sofia: Yes that is true. Things change dramatically since then.
Mariah Freya: What happened? Where did you get this motivation from to transform in such a beautiful way and create this sexy path to awaken the goddess?
Sofia: To be honest with you I just got fired and after that things started to change. Honestly after I went the first time to India I realized that I live in a box and I do not have to and things can be completely different toward everyone and what I was conditioned to think as well because of the society. And then I realized that this life is not really suiting me and to help me with this transition my boss fired me so it really helped to accelerate things. After that I went traveling to Asia and went to India and then my visa expired and I needed to go somewhere else so I went to Thailand and I ended up in the tantric school where we met.
Mariah Freya: Yes we both met agama yogayas.
Sofia: And after that things started to change really quickly. I started to practice tantra, I started learning more and more about this sacred art. I resumed dancing and I resumed it in a way of worshipping the goddess, through dance that is a sacred practice. Somehow all the practice that I am doing, they just reveal to me no matter what it is. Meditation or yoga or some other space practices, they all have been revealing to me that I really to focus on that, I want to focus on femininity and I want to share this because there is so much potential and there is so much beauty and each woman holds it.
Mariah Freya: This is really interesting. You seem to be really fascinated by this mysterious feminine power. What do you think? Why is this feminine work so important for all women?
Sofia: Because it puts us in touch with something that is so accessible for us and it is so beautiful, the Shakti, this huge divine feminine principle which is so accessible for women, much more accessible for women than for men in general and it is just such a huge power of transformation that is there and it is available. It is just that sometimes we need to find the switch and after that the whole path can be lit up. That is why I am really fascinated by them. Sometimes when I have direct experience of this force it just blows mind, the potential is enormous and it is really glorious.
Mariah Freya: And also the diversity. You can already see, you created a lot of diverse-wise, of diving into this goddess’ essence. You have the mystical dance where you teach women belly dance, you have awaken the goddess within which is I think more of a tantric Taoistic workshop, right?
Sofia: Yes it is a combination of all these things. You are right there is a lot of dance because through dance we just really can open to this flow. There is some Taoist practices especially practices with the jade egg and some other things from Daoism. There is tantric practices of course because I am trained as a tantric teacher. I see that there is a lot that can be implemented and women benefit a lot just from the knowledge, just first we understand this thing through the mind and then we understand how to apply it and it is great. Kind of pieces of puzzle that gets together.
Mariah Freya: Whenever you work with women, what is your main essence? How exactly do you work with them?
Sofia: It depends, sometimes I have private sessions. We really focus on the needs of one woman and what exactly she is struggling with regarding her femininity, regarding her sexuality, regarding relationships with men. We really focus on her needs. When it is a group then basically there are a few things I am pretty sure that women are quite interested in. We talk, of course, about orgasms. Your favourite topic. We also work with emotions, we learn to really see emotions as transformative. We see the power of transformation in the emotion and also learn to work with them through dance and through other practices. Things like that.
Mariah Freya: Great. I am really curious, what transformation have you seen in women in your work? What technique would you most recommend to someone? Have you seen any major techniques which would transform women the most?
Sofia: I would say it is a combination of things. There are some very powerful things like working with the yoni egg, it is strong but still it is not enough by just that. It is great to combine those things and it is to be with women, generally in a group, practices things together and support each other. It creates something, a very special space that helps us evolve as women and embrace things that we were not embracing before because of all those conditioning that we can have, or society, or things that are just not accepted. Just by accepting all of them and working with all those different things women transform.
For example, I held this five day workshop for women in February in Thailand and then in the end it was so obvious. When participants were sharing their experience it was so obvious for each and every one of them how everyone have changed just in the five days. Being there six hours or seven hours a day with other women and working on accepting, listening, speaking, practicing dancing, you could see something was changing in their eyes. Their eyes were reflecting, there was this kind of movement, becoming more fluid, the way they speak was becoming softer. It was beautiful. Even a boyfriend of one of my participants wrote to me saying that he is so grateful that she became such a goddess.
Mariah Freya: It would be really interesting about this dance because I find more and more coaches in the world see the power of dance and how women can also connect to their sexual energy. Tell me more about this power of dance.
Sofia: I would love that. Dance is really something, I think all women should dance because it is just so beautiful what happens in dance. Even if you do ecstatic forms of dance and not really being so much concerned about how exactly you move. Even in there something happens, there is this surrender that could happen if you really allow yourself to open to the music and to flow with it, just be in your body, and be aware of your energy. This surrender can happen which is so important for us as women if we want to have experiences of strong orgasm that we need. The surrender is important and through dance this happens. There is a know how we can acquire through dancing, through opening, and through not thinking that someone might be looking at me and how do I look, and how do I move. Something magical happens there, it is really this interaction of you and your Shakti. Of course, basically, on the physical level.
All those thing start to change, for example with belly dance, it is quite strong what can be transformed with belly dance and how we can awaken our feminine essence, how we can awaken our sexual energy through belly dance because we bring so much awareness to the pelvis, the hips, and these are the areas that we are normally disconnected from. Many people lift just from chest upwards, right? There is lots of disconnection that I see women experience, there is lots of shame and for many people there is this no-go zone they just do not want to really go there and it is not always consciously, very often it is just the way it happens, the way it is on our society, it is ingrained in us that it is not really the place that you need to bring so much awareness to which is unfortunate because this is how we lose connection with our sexuality.
When I work with women and we talk about problems with orgasms, why women are lacking orgasm or why other orgasm are not as strong, it is very often. The first major cause is the lack of perception, there is this disconnection and as we belly dance it just brings so much awareness to the hips and to the pelvis. There is a secret that all dancers know that we dance from the yoni, we dance from the vagina, we bring awareness to all the different muscles in the vagina and we move from there and that is how the movements can be powerful, that is how the movements can be really charged and intense.
Mariah Freya: It is almost like a vagina dance. Does that exist?
Sofia: I am sure. It is what happens. No one would ever talk about it or even think about it but actually that is what happens. It is very obvious, even the sexuality can change once women start to belly dance or any form of dance that really brings awareness to the hips and to the pelvis. Even the way they behave in bed would change. That is for sure.
Mariah Freya: Interesting. What is your biggest discovery around this work? Especially about the power of dance. What is your personal, biggest discovery?
Sofia: It just fascinating. For me it is really inspiring to see when women are really opening. When there is this change of standpoint that is happening. It is about dance, a lot, but not only. It is something about when women get together in a conscious way and they share, they share experiences, they dance together because so often I see how women come in a group, a new group of women, and they feel very self-conscious. Sometimes women would even feel like, “I cannot dance, it is too much.” Especially when it is sexually, sometimes we explore sexual archetypes through dance and it is kind of a quite explicit dancing which is fun but sometimes women are like, “No way am I going in there.” It is just women and still there is this self-conscious thing like, “Oh my God, they are going to judge me,” or, “Oh my God, maybe she is better than me.” It is so much in society at the moment because women learn to adopt to this male values, this competition, it is such a male thing and because women have to live in the male world they have to play men’s game so they adopt to these values as well.
The beauty, for me, in seeing that change, when women change their values, they really see how they can create the sisterhood, this is amazing and this is so healing for the feminine as well. Getting together with other women and sharing is something that women has been doing for centuries but it is lost to a large extent. When women open to each other and they reflect things on each other and they help each other grow, they empower one another and I feel like this is one of the greatest things that ever helps. It is really empowering.
Mariah Freya: That is a great discovery. I guess when there is sisterhood between women it is much more easier to walk this path and to awaken the inner goddess, right? The more those feminine values like sisterhood, love, surrender, and also acknowledging of emotion, if this becomes more a part of female life, the more power it creates, the more power we have as women but not in a masculine way and more like the power of this inner source, maybe.
Sofia: The feminine power is a different power. It is also power but it is such a different power, as you say, from this male competitive and warrior kind of thing. It is really the feminine essence that can shine.
Mariah Freya: To come back to this power of dance and also opening up for deeper orgasms, do you have any tips for my readers and listener on that?
Sofia: Yes. For example, you can just start dancing. The very important thing there is music, you need to really find music that you love and then you can be by yourself or in the company of other girlfriends and just have some fun. Play the music and really go within, you can even close your eyes, feel your movements from within, when you move your hip, when you move your leg, where is the movement coming from inside.
As you continue you can warm up and then you can just really bring conscious awareness to your yoni or vagina and see how you can move from there and really explore how the movements or which of parts of the yoni are being engaged. Is it this side or is it the other side, is it in the front, or is it in the back, is it on top, or is it in the bottom, there are so many muscles. It is quite fascinating to explore these things and then you will see how the energy starts flowing differently. It might make your day, if you do something like this in the morning, for example, you will radiate something very special all day long and it will be noticeable for others as well.
Mariah Freya: I love dancing too. I am totally in.
Sofia: Yes I know. You came to one of my classes, I remember that.
Mariah Freya: Yes I loved it. Totally. What I find also really intriguing about you, you are offering with your husband as well, workshops, at sexwisdomspirit.com, right?
Sofia: Yes the tantra.
Mariah Freya: Both of you are tantra teachers and as a couple you teach other couples or individuals also on the traditions of tantra and also improving sexuality and reconnecting to the masculine and the feminine.
Sofia: We do offer workshops, we do not work that much with one on one. Although it happens, of course, after the workshop or during the workshop people approach and we work one on one but mostly it is in the form a workshop either just a weekend workshop, which now what happens in the west, or a longer workshop that we can do somewhere in Asia where people are more on holidays or they do not have their schedule. We go into this sacred sexuality and we share our experience and we share the theory from tantra, from Daoism, about how we can use the real meaning of lovemaking and what is the potential there for our awakening as individuals, for acquiring higher self-consciousness, for making your life more beautiful, to become more orgasmic, same for men and women.
We talk about exploring sexuality on different levels which sometimes might not look spiritual but in tantra this is the philosophy behind it, it embraces everything, it embraces all energy and there is this deep knowledge that any energy can be transformed into something sublime and something refined.
Mariah Freya: You are offering really a lot and this is incredible because I think the world needs exactly this. Where do you want to be in five years?
Sofia: That is a good question. Myself and my husband, we are really focused on self-development as well because it is not really our purpose to be a teacher, when you are a teacher or when you think you are a teacher, very often people forget that first of all we need to learn and then we can give something. Sometimes wanting to teach becomes more stronger than wanting to learn and to study. We do not want to forget about that and this is really important for us, this self-development, this traveling within and studying ourselves, understanding our higher self. This is our journey, this is what I am really fascinated about and I do not think I will ever stop this. I just want to continue this work, maybe a few times a year.
I really want to work with women and this is passion, to share with women, and also working with couples, we do this work together with Huber, my husband. I just want to keep going like this, it feels beautiful, it feels important, and it feels empowering. If I can share something, if I can give something to other people I am happy to do that but first my priority is really developing my structure, developing myself.
Mariah Freya: Wise words for sure. The last question, what is the number one tip to reconnect to femininity? Anything that pops in your mind. You already shared some really good tips on the dance but maybe there is something else you want share?
Sofia: I would say, a strong thing to do is to learn to embrace yourself in all manifestation and embrace other women too, because very often when we do not accept or judge something about other women, it is a reflection of something in us, something that we do not accept or judge as well. Looking at it honestly, where it is coming from, what are the judgments about, learning to accept these things and working through them and embracing the darkness because only by seeing our deep dark essence we can embrace the light as well. There is so much power in this darkness and things that we do not accept about ourselves. I believe that only by working with these things, by really honestly looking at it and accepting and making it your power, then it does become your power.
Mariah Freya: Beautiful. That is a good one. I love it, and for last, something fun. Describe your ideal feminine orgasm with one adverb, one verb and one animal. As an example, mine is the crazily jumping giraffe.
Sofia: I would say, something about an elephant. A happy bathing elephant.
Mariah Freya: Happy bathing elephant? Awesome, I love it. That is now the end of the show, if one of my readers wants to contact you where can they get in touch with you?
Sofia: They can just go ahead and check out my website which is www.mysticalfemininity.com and there is plenty of ways to contact me that are listed there. I hope you are happy. Thank you.
Mariah Freya: And the work together with your husband, Huber, is sexwisdomspirit.com, right?
Sofia: Yes thank you. Exactly.
Mariah Freya: Awesome. Also if anyone wants to read just go down to the show notes and I will just enter there the links we mentioned in this interview. Also visit my blog for that which is orgasmicdiscourses.com and thanks so much Sofia for this interview. It was really beautiful hearing this really empowering feminine work you do. Keep on doing it because it is really, really needed and thanks for the inspiration.
Sofia: Great. Thank you so much. It was fun to talk to you.
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