How to Reconnect to Our Feminine Essence?

What a question! It’s a huge one, and yet still we hardly ever find ourselves talking to our friends about the essentials, the feminine essence. I myself have been ignoring this important question for years.

Feminine projection

We are born female, so we grow up into a world where everyone projects things onto us in a certain way. Society, and even our own family and friends, are projecting femininity onto us by dressing us in the color pink, by buying Barbies for us for Christmas, by dressing us up in ruffled, poofy ballerina skirts, by treating us softly, emotionally and gently, by growing out our hair to be long and silky, by not allowing us to get dirty, by seeing us as a good girl, a nice girl. These things are all pretty physical and external factors. I am wondering what we feel naturally within us? Is there something deeper which makes us feel, act and believe as feminine beings?

Feminine Disillusionment

Later, when we grow up, we revolt! Refuse to wear dresses, cut our hair short, don’t wear make-up and especially don’t want to be treated like an all-in-pink girly-girl. That type of girly woman is not interesting to us; we see them as sluts. We prefer being called a tomboy and think it’s cooler than being a “slut.” That’s not our level. We prefer to go out with strategy board game meet-up groups where everyone loves being a nerd and doesn’t care if there is the best party of the year happening in town.

What I could clearly see when I was going through this phase was that I wasn’t  happy. I felt disconnected, especially towards myself. I didn’t feel beautiful.


You are beautiful.

feminine essence

That’s the point I want to make. Reconnecting to our true feminine essence means knowing that we are beautiful as we are. Perfect and whole. Knowing it deeply from our heart.

Once I realized this deep message, I started to naturally reconnect with my feminine essence. Then we begin to want to physically decorate ourselves, putting make-up on, wearing beautiful stockings and jewelry, feeling worth it enough to wear beautiful summer dresses, showing our bodies and feeling proud of them, confidently dancing for ourselves, for our lover, feeling our curves in every moment and realizing how deeply connected our bodies are to the universal beauty. We start to feel the feminine essence not only physically, but mentally and emotionally, where we are able to express our deep emotions. Caring about others and Mother Earth. Developing the compassion, unconditional love and wisdom of a mother. Being able to cry, to laugh and to be angry. Being able to express our sexual desires, our sexual being. Being able to orgasm. In the end, it is not about make-up or girly-girl behavior; it is about how we feel inside. The essence is inexpressible. It’s an endless source of feminine diversity which can be manifested in our daily lives.

How to remind ourselves to reconnect to our feminine essence in daily life?

  • Take lessons in dancing, painting, anything creative.
  • I have, in my flat, a money purse, cell phone, mirror, and the suggestion written on a piece of paper “You are beautiful,” which helps me to remind myself on a daily basis.
  • We can suggest to ourselves mentally every morning after waking up, when the subconscious mind is still accessible, that we are beautiful feminine beings.
  • We can give each other as many compliments as possible.
  • Share our love and joy with others as often as possible.
  • Join a women’s group.
  • Organize clothes-swapping parties with your female friends, bringing clothes you don’t wear anymore but would love to see on other people.
  • Have an evening centered around femininity where you dress up, decorate each other or even do a photo shoot.
  • For the brave ones: become a life drawing model, dance in front of your lover and seduce him with your feminine power, or run workshops on femininity.

I would love to hear more ideas of how you stay in tune with your feminine essence!


Lots of Love,

Mariah Freya