Fuck your Vibrator

Fuck your Vibrator! No, don’t fuck it. I mean give it up. Stop using it.

Simply give it the middle finger, you don’t need it anymore.

I know, your little pink rabbit is cute and it’s buzzing in such a fun way down there. It’s vibrating so nicely that anything else feels pretty boring and lame. That’s why it’s hard to give it up. It feels so damn good.

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But I say, throw it out the window, far, far away. I just did that.

My vibrating story

The story goes like this: When I turned 18, I went with my best girlfriend to an erotic fair, just out of curiosity. We found a market full of sex toys, bondage gear, kinky tools, older men roaming around and gogo girls stripping their hearts off.

With slight embarrassment and interest, we wandered through the stalls, not looking for anything specific. Well, two young girls, full of libido and sex drive – we were the perfect target group. At that time we had no clue how much profit the sex toy industry was making from young women like us ($5-7 Billion a year).

We both stopped at a stall full of fancy colored dildos, with animal names on them. Spot on. That was something for us! There were butterflies, rabbits, elephants and much more. I thought well, let’s try this. I went for the dolphin in a silky white design.

It’s too good to be true and that’s the problem

Not a bad choice. I realized a few days later how much pleasure it was able to give me.  When I used it for the first time, I was almost overwhelmed by the sensation. So buzzzzzzziiing. It felt like a massive volcano erupting inside my clitoris and vagina, I hardly could bear it. But I went for it. This was when I experienced a clitoral orgasm for the first time.

I learned to love it quickly. And developed a very intimate relationship with it. An electronic dolphin shaped dildo became my best lover. I never ever wanted to let go of my dolphin vibrator ever again.

Long story short

I have just learned that one of the first vibrators was called the ‘Tremoussoir’, invented in France in 1734 for treating ‘Hysteria’. Of course not for pleasure, understood. When vibrators were produced for the masses women were very happy. Me too. A comfortable tool does the job for you. Quick, clean, and efficient.

Maybe a little too efficient.

liquidnight

The buzzing dependency

Vibrators are making us women very dependent. Dependent on the buzz. The vibration.

Why? Because no man would ever be able to give you the same sensation during intercourse that a vibrator does. Programmed buttonless disappointment. No finger of yours could perform a rubbing sensation that fast. More frustration follows.

The buzz can over time become the only sensation which will make you cum. Sneaky addiction ahead. It could secretly rule your sex life. You could come with it and fake without it. Over time you could lose your sensations of pleasure more and more and you would need an even stronger and harder vibration.

Which continues the spiral into sexual numbness and frustration with your partner and yourself.

Trust me, I’ve been there. For me, it was the only way for a long time that I could experience orgasms. I have faked enough orgasms during intercourse in my life and I am not proud of it.

I am sorry, that all sounds really depressing. And if you have just discovered your sexuality and are celebrating your sexual being, go for it. Stay in your bed all day with your rabbit, or dolphin or whatever you call it and enjoy! Have fun! Do it like Charlotte in Sex and the City and stay home all day instead of going out with men.

 

 

The world says yes, I say fuck your vibrator!

I am pretty alone in this, with my proposal that you give up on your vibrators. It’s rather the opposite of what everyone who is promoting them is saying.

Yes, there are even studies that suggest that women are healthier using a vibrator because they’re more likely to have had their annual gynecological exam than women who don’t use them

Giving up on your vibrator also doesn’t sound like a good deal – giving up on your precious pleasure toy lover, right?!  For some women, it would even mean fully giving up on orgasms (for the time being).

I have a deal for you. If you give up on your vibrator, I will tell you what you can do instead to increase your sensitivity. I’ll tell you anyway. You will be fully able to pleasure yourself without a vibrator. Because vibrator orgasms are actually lame compared to full body deep vaginal orgasms.

This is how I went from superficial vibrator orgasms to multiple deep vaginal orgasms

  1.  AWARENESS! Most important of all. An orgasm is a bodily sensation, every sensation even if it’s very subtle can be an orgasm – with the right amount of awareness. The path is the goal.
  2. Stay away from vibrators (as far as possible). The sensitivity will automatically increase by not using them.
  3. Do your daily Kegels.
  4. Treat your masturbation practice as a self-love ritual. With an open heart and a clear mind, warm up your body. Love yourself, say to yourself: “I love myself”. Dance, move your hips, shake, massage your breasts… whatever makes you tune in with yourself.
  5. Work from up to down, slooowly from outside (clit, labia) towards the inside (vaginal canal).
  6. Don’t forget other erogenous zones too (breasts, nipples, thighs…)
  7. Use your breath. Deep inhaling and exhaling are relaxing. Fast inhaling and exhaling is stimulating. Imagine pushing your breath into your vagina, filling up all the dark corners with light and awareness.
  8. Use softer toys, like a massage ball, feathers, brush for your clit and vulva. Be creative.
  9. Masturbate with a non-vibrating dildo. Massage the inside of your vaginal walls. Find all the numb spots and bring awareness to them. Use G-spot dildos like the Lelo for G-spot orgasms. It helps to reach the G-spot and is quite comfortable for use. Also, check more about organic dildos.
  10. If you have a deep vagina use a longer dildo for reaching your cervix. Everyone is different. So, get the right sized toys (non-vibrating of course). Ride on it in the cowgirl position. It’s great for having cervical orgasms. Fold a pillow, squeeze your dildo in between the fold, sit on it and ride your toy. (Note: Move your hips back and forth, instead of up and down)

What’s your experience with vibrators? What’s your relationship with them? And please spread the word on this. It’s highly important information for all girls and women out there.

Picture by liquidnight, Flickr.