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Friends, let’s talk about this libido thing (again). An undeniable important source within our lives and if we don’t take care of it, we often find ourselves in trouble (not only sexually). In this post I am opening the discourse of what libido actually is, and how to boost it up to the roof with a very unusual but effective method.
Libido is not just a thing that most sex coaches love to talk about. Depending on its vitality, your libido actually rules your life. It’s your sex drive, and you know what, your vital drive in life. There is no common ground as to what a healthy libido looks like, there is also no way to measure it in numbers. So let’s see what generally determines it then.
Get out of biological saving mode
Your body is healthy and strong? Then your libido is probably shooting rocket high. Your hormonal level is a bit out of order and you are lacking testosterone? Then your libido might feel a little weakened and stagnant. You are going through a difficult phase of illness? Probably you haven’t had sex for a long time. Oh no, you’re one of those self-employed 24/7 workaholics? No wonder that you can hardly find time for sex (what not even for morning sex?). Plus you actually don’t miss it.
So: Our sex drive is strongly connected to our life style. Stress, illness, medications, and hormonal imbalances or even being underweight will lead to a low sex drive in the long run. Actually it’s one of our body’s clever energy saving mechanisms, for charging up the battery.
What can we do?
Live a healthy life whenever you can, and be patient in case you are in saving-on-energy mode. What helps me best is to walk in nature, ideally barefoot on the ground, to help boost my libido engines.
Become independent of the influences of social theater
Some of you probably know this deep within. You grew up in a sexually repressed society or family. You have never been able to talk to anyone about your sex life, not even your closest buddy or lover. Well, this repression naturally leads to an unbalanced flow of libido energy, which may lead to aggression, depression and yes, low libido.
Your libido naturally diminishes simply with the bare conditioning of your thoughts. Anyone is able to repress and sublimate the urge by simply projecting it negatively. So your thoughts can totally influence your libido.
What can we do?
Think negatively and your libido will eat itself up. Think healthy by informing yourself about sexuality and see your libido flourish.
Get some cuddly love and sweaty sex
Fertility experts know that if women are regularly cuddled, and regularly brought to orgasm their ovulations are “riper” and more likely to be fertilized. Fertility – a definite sign of a healthy libido.
Dr. Charles Wysocki’s research team has reported that women may have evolved in such a way that a man’s smell triggers their ovulation. If you seldom cuddle with your lover, or rarely have sweaty sex (literally don’t smell each other) you will miss out on those libido boosting beneficial effects. Ladies, smelling your partner’s scent not only relaxes you and makes you horny to conceive at the right time of the month, but actually increases your sexual desire. In other words, his smell drives your libido, which leads you to want to smell him even more.
What can we learn?
Learn to smell each other again. Go dance Tango all night, smell his/her scent consciously. Have cuddle parties. Get his (fresh!) sweaty work-out shirt. And of course, have passionate sweaty sex.
Reintroduce (magical) eye-gazing
This might sound strange but intuitively it is so true. Women crave for “the gaze”. If the feminine hunger is being satisfied on this level, it results in deep connection and a trustful relationship. Trust – the basis for desire!
Female rats for instance gaze deeply into the face of their male partner before they are ready to have sex.
Men prefer the opposite – they would rather interact side by side, because a deep gaze results in a more threatening interpretation. In studies they have found that men give women the gaze at the beginning of a relationship, and over time let it fade out.
On a date, the more confident a man is with his gaze the more trust he builds with his potential sex partner. Note: That doesn’t mean staring at her, rather it means really acknowledging the other and connecting through the gateway of her soul (as the sight is called in many traditions).
What can we learn?
Learn to look into each other’s eyes again (especially men). It’s often lost over the years of a relationship. Take a moment, sit down, hold hands and simply look.