Are you a lingam lover? I am. And I love to worship my lover’s wand of light aka his lingam (term for penis in the ancient Indian language). This article gives you a deep and eye-opening understanding, and practical tools on how to give an out-of-this-world lingam massage.
A Lingam Massage obviously requires a penis owner
…who is willing to be worshipped, and a giver who loves to be of service unconditionally. Sounds a bit poetic, I know.
Historical fact, and don’t fall asleep just yet, worshipping a lingam is actually rooted in many religions.
The first time I saw this (symbolically) was about 10 years ago in India where I watched a morning temple ceremony in Varanasi. I couldn’t believe my eyes when the Hindu monk poured milk over a huge 4 meter phallus statue. That was probably the biggest “ejaculation” I’ve ever witnessed.
Also in Thailand I remember seeing a temple full of carved wooden penises. I am not an expert but it seems the followers love those tiny wooden penis pendants on their key rings. Maybe as a reminder of the powers a lingam has?! Not sure.
You might also want to check out:
- Why and how to give a Yoni Massage
- How to give a great blowjob
- How to deal with different sexual libido levels in a relationship
Did you know that Tantra Massage was originally developed in my home country?
The classical so called Tantra Massage (which can be even done without touch) and also the more hands-on approach called Lingam Massage was developed in the 80ies by the founder of Diamond Lotus Tantra Lounge in Berlin, Andro Andreas Rothe, and was further developed by pioneers like Joseph Kramer, Mantak Chia and many more (source).
Only happy soul endings are allowed
This kind of massage is not an Erotic Massage with the so-called happy ending. To be clear, it has nothing to do with huge amounts of ejaculations. On the contrary, usually receivers won’t ejaculate during an authentic massage.
This is not something you do to satisfy your lust only. No, this is something for your personal evolution as a human being.
This is for men who want to re-program their sexual DNA – it allows them to fully become the sensual being that they are.
Move this energy and say “hi” to your soul
It’s about moving the energy in your body and increasing it for healing and spiritual purposes.
A skillful giver will make sure that you’ll be able to relax fully and build up sexual energy that will expand and flow inside of you freely. This energy will be spread over the entire body and awaken magical pleasure moments, moments you haven’t experienced before. Those moments can turn into ecstasy and may touch your soul in an earth-shaking way.
This practice is an “easy” acceleration, because you might need a long and painful meditation retreat to get you to a similar state.
Who can give a Lingam Massage?
Your lover can learn it and give it to you, whether you are in a relationship or not, it doesn’t matter. Or you can book a session with a professional Tantra Masseuse.
Are you ready for the soul-stretching benefits?
- Enhanced ejaculation control
- Improved blood circulation to the Lingam
- Intense sexual pleasure
- Significant alleviation of sexual tension
- Enhanced sensitivity
- Improved sexual stamina
- Curing of premature ejaculation
- Reduction of pain, stress and depression
- Connection with your partner
- Connection with your soul, God, Buddha, nature, the universe, the divine within you (whatever you want to call it)
Cultivating your sexual energies for spiritual ambitions
When you go further down the road in Tantra, you’ll learn that as a Lingam owner it’s not so easy to cultivate your sexual energy. Because you’ll be challenged to refrain from ejaculation, yes, also during sex. The Tantrics believe that this way you will keep all the powers and so called Ojas (Seed) within yourself so that you’ll be able to direct them towards the divine. Cause, ultimately Tantra is a spiritual path that leads to enlightenment.
In case that feels a bit too woo-woo spiritually steep, just think of it as the yearning for inner peace and happiness.
Sorry for sidetracking, but just so you know what potential all this has. I am not saying that Lingam Massage will do all that work for you, but it can be an amazing kick-start.
So when you start off as a Tantric, you’ll learn to cultivate your sexual energy. This includes ejaculation control training, for higher pleasure peaks, for being able to make love for hours and fuck the bliss into your partner and meditate on it.
A Lingam massage will be a taster and will kick-start your sexual cultivation, without you doing anything – except being present. You’ll develop sensitivity that helps you understand your arousal levels and will help you feel much, much more.
There is a truth to the saying that men are cock focused
It has something to do with how they are wired (that’s the unprofessional neurologist speaking), let me know if you have a better explanation.
The massage will help widen sensuality horizons. It will help you to feel more physically, emotionally, energetically and also spiritually. Not only women have traumas; men also struggle with insecurities, fear, emotional stuckness and stiffness. A lingam massage helps you to fully let go and just feel.
As a giver you have the extraordinary duty to worship
Can you give, worship without wanting anything back? Without sticking to a goal that you subconsciously set? This is called unconditional giving – a true master discipline. The unconditional muscle can be trained of course.
You might ask why do something without a goal? I am not saying you do it without an intention. But the intention should not be based on egoistic needs, or expectations.
Expectations will only lead to frustration and disappointment. And will stir up the perfectionist in us that is never satisfied anyway. So just don’t bother in the first place.
What happens exactly (in a studio)?
The massage usually lasts between 1.5 – 3 hrs. Normally you’ll have a short appointment beforehand where the process is described and you’ll know exactly what’s going to happen.
The therapist will never be naked; if they are you’ll know it’s not a professional massage. The masseuse can be of any gender, there are actually many men out there offering Lingam Massages; it can be very healing for the part in you that is homophobic. Plus, a male giver might be more knowledgeable about how your body works, cause they have the same anatomy.
Take a deep breath, exhale and relax. Cause it’s not about achieving here. It’s about allowing. An orgasm can happen, yes, usually more on energetical and emotional spheres, but it’s definitely not the goal here.
The goal is healing, while putting you in touch with the extraordinary sensual being that you are. Like in the Yoni Massage practice.
A professional massage costs between $150-$300 depending on the time it takes.
How to find a Lingam Massage therapist/parlor?
Always make sure that the massage is not a happy ending erotic massage, because that comes with another intention. Check out my article on how to find the right parlor here.
Ok, so how to give this out-of-this-world Lingam Massage to your Partner?
First of all talk with your partner about the nitty gritties. When are you going to do it? Set at least 3 hours aside. Will you manage to have the place all to yourselves? Do you have everything you need? Do you need to learn some more skills?
- Enough towels
- Organic coconut oil or whatever other natural oils you prefer (Tip: Heat it up in a water bath for extra deliciousness)
- Set the right mood, soft music, candles, aroma oils…
- Heat the room if neccessary
Relax. Start with a ritual, like a meditation where you sit in front of each other, eyes closed, holding each other’s hands. Connect with your heart and let the receiver set an intention.
The receiver shares this intention with their partner. Sidenote: Again, orgasms are not the goal. Find something higher, more meaningful and powerful, something that stirs up goosebumps.
Then both of you remove your clothes (one piece at a time), and say something out loud that you are stripping off with each piece of clothing e.g. shame, blockages, fear, perfectionism…
The giver asks for permission before touching, to pay respect and honor the other.
Gaze into each other’s eyes. See.
While gazing you can add breathing together with deep energizing belly breaths, breaths that fill the lungs. Sync your energy levels.
The receiver lies down on their belly and relaxes. Start massaging your way up from the feet. Using both of your hands to relax the receiver’s legs, inner thighs and pelvis, move up to the buttocks, lower back and then all the way up to the shoulders. Stay some time around their neck.
Keep your breath synced with each other. Remind each other when you lose it. This is important to keep the flow of both of your energies in tune.
Let the receiver turn gently onto their back, have enough pillows (also under their head & hips) to keep them as comfortable as possible.
As the giver make sure you are comfortable too. If you are feeling uneasy in your body the receiver will feel it.
Start again at the bottom, at the legs, working your way up, sparing the lingam at the beginning, sometimes touching it in the flow but not focusing on it.
Sit between his legs
once you feel that the receiver is fully relaxed and also at the same time present (remember breathing together)!
With one hand hold his lingam firmly, and place the other hand on the heart of your lover. Imagine you are connecting both areas with each other.
Pour enough coconut oils over the receiver’s lingam and start massaging as if you were worshipping a sacred object.
I usually start with a prayer movement placing both of my hands together as in prayer, with the lingam in between the palms. Bowing in front of him.
Really show the receiver that he is being worshipped.
Note: It’s not important at all how engorged his lingam is. Actually flaccid penises tend to have more sensitivity.
Whenever you feel it’s getting too intense for the receiver touch their thighs, legs, chest & nipples to spread the energy around.
This is how you master soul-shaking hand techniques
There are various styles and techniques for stroking and touching a lingam deeply. You don’t need to know all of them in order to be good at it. More important is being present and feeling into the receiver’s needs.
Stay in communication with each other. Ask for feedback: How does it feel? Is this good? Shall I continue like this? Harder? Softer? Slower? Faster?
Many receivers have over years and years of masturbation developed an imprinted habit towards the standard thrusting technique (hard grip around penis with up and down movement). Lingam Massage is about unraveling these mechanics in a way that leads to heightened sensitivity and expanding energy.
Here is a great (German, again) resource by Tantra Köln that’ll give you a great practical kick-start on how to worship a lingam:
Awakening of the lingam
This technique is a great awakening technique, you can use your finger tips first and then move into full palm squeezes.
Moving and sliding the energies from the base to the tip is a great way to awaken too. Take enough time here. Do you notice a difference when you slide from down upwards, compared with from up downwards?
The corkscrewer is as intense as it sounds. You are awakening the tip of the iceberg, like when you are warming up a women’s clitoris. Make sure you have enough oil spread around the glans, and watch the receiver carefully – in case it gets too intense move back to the skier or more base oriented strokes.
This wringing out method is a pre-warmup for the next technique; it’s not as intense so that’s why it’s suited for milder stimulation. But of course with higher amounts of pressure it can also get very intense and stimulating
As the name says, it gets hot with this one. The lingam will literally turn into a burning wand, so make sure the receiver is able to relax and avoid overstimulation.
Greeting the frenulum
The frenulum is an elastic band of tissue under the glans penis that connects the foreskin. Some man are very sensitive there, others don’t feel much at all. Numbness can be a sign that you need to give this area some extra attention to increase sensitivity, blood and energy flow. Some people say the frenulum is like the third eye of the penis.
Slipping-off by holding the testicles
This grip is great to bring a sense of protection to the receiver. Hold the testicles, you can even stretch them away from the base to loosen them up.
The Chi or the lingam
If you know more about energy work, this will be very familiar to you. If you are new to this just experiment. Hold your hands a few centimeters away from the lingam and just feel. Do you feel a tingly sensation? That’s the Chi.
The testicles are the grounding part of the male sex. Give them love, stretch them away from the receiver’s body, squeeze them together and release any tension you might feel.
Pelvic floor massage
Start massaging the sacred spot, midway along the pelvic floor (between the testicles and the anus). There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. If you feel it’s beneficial you can include the anus area too.
Sometimes men have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. They may cry and remember a traumatic event from their past. Allow and provide the space for them to feel.
As women have a G-spot, so have men. It’s their prostate gland, accessible through anal stimulation. Same as for women it’s an emotional sex center, often loaded with tension and old traumas that have been stored there. When the prostate is massaged you have the opportunity to strip off that baggage to reveal a man’s true potential to himself. The prostate massage combined with a gentle lingam stroke can be super powerful for a man’s sexual healing.
Very important: Take enough time & lube to penetrate and enter his anus. You can use a finger condom. The sensation can be very intense so make sure you are both breathing thoroughly and consciously.
Observe your partner’s reactions while massaging and exploring different techniques and most importantly let yourself guide you.
Final happy soul ending
Once you feel that the sexual energies are flowing beautifully and harmoniously, move the energies up (by sliding from his sexual center up towards his chest center, or by the Chi stroke), emphasing the breathing part. Move the awakened energy towards the receiver’s heart. Integrate them there and let the receiver relax in bliss for at least 10 – 15 min. I am not recommending you let your partner ejaculate, as this will cause a loss of the momentum and the energy you have built.
Sit next to them in silence, meditate on consciousness and thank your partner for allowing you to worship them. Namaste!