For some women, pregnancy and postpartum may not seem like a particularly sexy time of life. But for others, they’ve never felt so sexual.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, use these Chinese medicine tips to make your pregnancy and postpartum phase as enjoyable and sexually empowered as possible.
Sexually Empowered Pregnancy And Orgasms
Pregnancy creates an opportunity for women to experience some of the most intense, full, and satisfying orgasms of her life due to the increased Yin (fluid), providing more lubrication, and heightened Qi and Blood flow in the lower part of her body, or what we call the Lower Jiao in Chinese medicine.
I can attest to that! Although I didn’t always feel like initiating love-making when I was pregnant, especially since I grew bigger and more tired, the orgasms I experienced were phenomenal.
Orgasms can cause small uterine contractions and the release of oxytocin, a hormone that can initiate or strengthen labor contractions. This is completely safe for normal pregnancies, but consult your doctor if you are high risk or have any other pregnancy complications.
Optimal Time For Love Making When Pregnant
Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) advises no intercourse during the first and third trimesters. According to TCM, a woman is more vulnerable to disease during menstruation, the first and third trimester of pregnancy, and post-delivery.
The introduction of a penis and sperm into a woman’s body exposes her to germs and possible irritants. If you want to play it safe and follow ancient Chinese wisdom, plan on sexually empowered pregnancy during the second trimester.
Interestingly, I remember feeling intuitive that I didn’t want to have sex as often during my first and third trimesters, so listen to your body’s internal wisdom to help you decide when and how often to make love during pregnancy.
The Benefits Of Masturbation During Pregnancy
The first and third trimester of pregnancy is, therefore, a very good time to perfect your masturbation practice and technique. I highly recommend Mariah’s Yoni Massage course to expand your self-pleasing repertoire.
The practice of masturbation can be meditative and it can bring you inside yourself, deep into your inner world, where you will reside during labor and delivery, especially if you end up having a drug-free labor and delivery experience. Some doulas and midwives refer to this altered state as “labor land.”
Chinese Medicine Recommends Kissing To Prepare For Birth
Stimulating and opening up your sexual energies through loving touch, massage, sex, or masturbation can help to prepare for the birth of your child.
In Chinese medicine, there are two invisible channels called the Conception meridian and the Chong meridian that both pass through the uterus and abdomen and encircle the lips.
Kissing is a lovely way to keep the smooth energy flowing through those meridians that are responsible for nourishing your baby, lactation, and delivering him or her to the outside world. After all, what created the baby is what gets the baby out!
Re-entering The World As A Mother And Sexual Woman
Many women experience the challenge of reclaiming their sexuality after giving birth. Re-emerging into the world and rediscovering who she is as a mother and a sexual woman with her own needs and desires is not a topic that’s widely acknowledged or talked about in our western culture.
Give Yourself Time To Recover
Not to mention the trauma her body just experienced. All birth is traumatic, even births that go as planned. Imagining being sexual again after giving birth might seem like an impossibility.
Give your body, mind, and soul time and space to heal and process the birth experience. Open up and share how you’re feeling with your partner. TCM advises abstaining from sex four to six weeks after delivery.
Ayurvedic medicine, which shares similar roots to Chinese medicine, believes that a woman can develop lifelong chronic disharmonies in the body if she is not properly cared for during the extremely vulnerable postpartum phase of life.
Chinese medicine echoes this concern, stating that women are at an increased risk of disease post-delivery due to blood loss and exhaustion, or Qi deficiency, from the physical exertion of labor and delivery.
Self-Care Is Key To Restoring Body Awareness
During this postpartum phase, it is, therefore, crucial to include daily de-stressing and self-care rituals.
Two of my favorite true de-stressing techniques include taking a foot bath or asking for a foot massage from your partner and gently massaging your ears.
Your feet and ears both contain several acupuncture points that will calm and harmonize the mind and body when stimulated. Giving special attention to your feet and ears will also nourish your Kidney energy, according to Chinese medicine, which houses your sexual energy.
Strengthening Your Pelvic Floor Can Make Sex Enjoyable Again
As your body heals, take the time and energy to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles consistently.
Even if it’s been years since you’ve given birth, your pelvic floor muscles can still be weak or tight which can lead to painful intercourse and low sex drive.
Directing attention to this area of the body will help to dissolve residual trauma, increase Qi and Blood flow, restore libido, and make sex enjoyable again.
Find an experienced physical therapist, Pilates instructor, or effective online program to guide you. I have found the MuTu online program extremely beneficial, as well as Katy Bowman’s blog, podcast, and books.
After two weeks of doing consistent pelvic floor strengthening exercises, the painful intercourse I had been experiencing since the birth of my second daughter completely vanished. I was amazed!
Qi Gong Breathing Exercise Can Awaken Your Libido
A beautiful, simple technique to awaken sexual energy as a postpartum woman is to practice Qi Gong.
Qi Gong is an ancient Chinese healing system that uses the body’s movement and breath or life force.
The following Qi Gong exercise is known to reduce stress levels, balance hormones and regulate the hypothalamus, pituitary, and ovaries or HPO axis.
Do this exercise as often as possible, but not during menstruation or pregnancy.
Put the tip of your tongue behind your front teeth on the roof of your mouth. Inhale deeply and focus on sending the breath down the midline of your body to your Dan Tien, two inches below your belly button as you push out your belly.
At the end of your inhalation, bring your attention further down to your uterus and pelvic floor while performing a Kegel exercise.
Exhale and focus on the breath going toward your tailbone and then up your spine to the top of your head, down the center of your head and out your nose. Repeat until it becomes one continuous flow.