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Open your mind and heart for a moment…
I know, Tantric Yoni Massage is a delicate topic. There is some weird media coverage and many rumors about it out there. But it’s in the same time the most powerful tool I ever encountered. I have taught it to hundreds of women, men, and couples, and I claim that it is the number one practice for improving sexuality and intimacy.
Yoni Massage is not only practiced by hippies or shady “salons”. It has arrived in the mainstream, and that’s wonderful. It’s a blessing for every woman and couple on this earth who want to get in touch with their body and soul. It can heal traumas, help you work through emotions, lessen tensions and develop a way to learn to orgasm.
Maybe you are here because you have a feeling that this might be something for you and/or your lover? You’ve come to the right place. I’ve compiled an extensive writeup about everything you need to know. Enjoy this article – but even more important: Give Yoni Massage a try!
Worshipping the “Yoni”
Ok, for everyone who is not on my page – I am talking about a massage for the vagina.
Yoni (pronounced Yo-nee) means, ‘holy temple or space’ in Sanskrit.
Receiving a Yoni massage actually means that your holy temple is being worshipped. Giving one is worshipping your partner’s.
In the old Indian tantric tradition a Yoni Massage used to be a ritual for temple dancers or women who followed the spiritual tantric path to worship the vagina. Nowadays it’s more accessible, and almost everyone can receive one of these massages. Without necessarily becoming a temple dancer or spiritual seeker, but by booking a session with a professional, or by learning it yourself..
Why on earth should someone massage my vagina?
Do you reach your orgasm easily? Yes? Well you are one of the lucky few. Most women, due to stress in daily life, little exercise, emotional tension and other physical and psychological reasons, cannot orgasm easily or possibly have never had an orgasm before. Yoni massage promises you a way to learn how to orgasm. Step by step you will open layers of your sexual force and pleasure deeper and deeper. Even certain tensions which are causing pain during love making can be healed. It will help you heal your wounds of the past, release blockages you didn’t even know you had, and especially teach you how to really feel your yoni fully – your holy temple. It’s a matter of feeling that it is worth being worshipped!
What Yoni Massage is
A Touch Worship Ritual
This massage is a full body oil massage which includes the female genitals. It’s performed in a sacred and safe enviroment on a woman or a person with a vagina. The sexual energy (female energy) and presence (masculine energy) are awakened.
A Dedicated Process
It includes around 1 hour full body relaxing warm up (skipping the genitals), 1 hour vaginal massage (meaning the relaxation and activation of the outer lips, inner lips, clitoris, perineal sponge, hymen, G-spot, vaginal canal, cervix and AFE zones,…)
Ecstatic & Transformative
It’s a liberating ecstatic experience that takes the receiver into another realm of pleasure. It includes the masculine and feminine energies, which means it’s a dance between relaxation and stimulation of the body and energies.
What Yoni Massage is not
An Erotic Massage
Erotic massage is only there to deliver pleasure to the receiver, or a “happy ending”. There is nothing wrong with that, but Yoni Massage takes this much more further and is way more profound then that.
It helps the receiver to heal their womb and relationship with their Yoni. It helps to overcome negative associations with their sexuality and to connect with their body, to love their body more and to connect with their higher sexual self.
It’s not a type of foreplay for sex (even though some techniques can be used for that).
It’s purpose is not to make a woman orgasm (even though most usually do), but for healing and spiritual evolution only.
A Woo-Woo Hippy Thing
Did you know that since the beginning of the Renaissance doctors have used orgasms as a recipe to cure the following diseases: (attention!) erotic fantasies, nymphomania, melancholia, nervousness, moments of unclarity and even breathing issues, insomnia… Even though the reasons are a bit politically incorrect, the fact is they knew that orgasms (or sexual energy) has an effect on the body and mind. So it was part of the mainstream ever since!
In many cities tantric-massage temples have sprung up like wild mushrooms. Some of the erotic massage parlours write things like: “the yoni massage is a ritual of receiving sensual sexual energy flowing through the entire body”, or “tantric massage will give your soul and body erotic bliss of a kind unheard of before, and make you disappear into the abyss of rich emotional experiences”. That all sounds beautiful but it’s not always easy to find the right yoni parlour. Ideally it should be a studio which is professional, clean – a safe place where you can easily feel relaxed, with friendly people you can connect with. Most people don’t even think about booking one of these sessions because they can’t find a place that fulfills at least the basic conditions. Or because they are not comfortable about being touched by a stranger. I can totally understand that.
Learn Yoni Massage
So, if you don’t find the right massage parlour or don’t have a recommendation by a friend, simply learn it! I received my first yoni massage from my lover.
I had always had trouble reaching my climax during love making and also had pain and tension in my vaginal walls. After receiving yoni massages from my partner I was able to release my tension. My pain went away because we massaged the little tension knots out that were responsible for the pain, and I could finally concentrate on the actual pleasure which made me climax.
After years of studying & practicing Yoni Massage I created a step-by-step video course to make this power tool more accessible. I believe the Yoni Massage course will be a game changer for you, your lover and your life. It seriously changed my life!
You can first watch my course together with your lover or good friend, and practice on each other; then if you feel more confident and want to dive deeper you can attend a workshop or get classes from a private mentor.
Give a Yoni Massage
Step 1: Setting the mood & breathing
It’s all about worshipping her temple. So make sure your are worshipping her temple in a temple. Set the mood: Turn on some candles, soft music, some aroma oil, velvet soft pillows. Anything to make her feel like a goddess.
Breathing is one of the most important parts of a Yoni Massage; deep abdominal breathing, not hyperventilating, is crucial to letting the energies flow and maximize the effect. The receiver and the giver should both breathe deeply during the whole process. The giver will gently remind the receiver in case they go back to shallow breathing.
Step 2: Ingredients
Enough time is crucial. Set aside at least 3 hours to make sure you have enough preparation time and relaxation time afterwards. Get some organic coconut oil for the oil massage and a towel; a plastic cover sheet is optional for under her hips. The plastic sheet will actually make her feel even safer, so she’ll be able to fully relax (crucial for squirting).
Step 3: Full Body Oil Massage
Heat the coconut oil in a water bath and massage her full body before you approach her Yoni. Don’t touch her Yoni, until you are 100% sure she is fully relaxed (~45min-1hr). Have the receiver lie on her belly and start with massaging her back. Use your intuition, you will know exactly what she needs. Stay in communication with her to find out if she prefers the massage stronger or lighter. Massage her feet, legs, bottom. Rub her sacrum to activate her sexual energies.
Let her turn and continue with her feet, legs, arms, neck, head, face before you start with her breasts. Dedicate a decent amount of time to the breasts, as a breast massage will already awaken some more sexual energy, including beneficial hormones to make the receiver even more relaxed. Then work your way down to the abdomen and make sure you gently do some circles, making sure your receiver is not tensing up.
Step 4: Yoni Massage
- Approaching the Yoni. Ask the receiver if you are allowed to touch her Yoni. Acknowledge the Yoni by capping her with your hand and just let it be there for a moment to feel into her.
- Pour enough coconut oil over her mound, so it naturally flows down towards her entrance.
- Spend enough time on the outer parts of the lips, mound and inner tights. Awaken the outer area of the Yoni before approaching the inner parts. Don’t rush. This is really important.
- You can stretch her outer lips and rub them between your fingers. Gently squeeze the outer lips between the thumb and index finger.
- Slide along each outer lip and then along each inner lip (in case your receiver has them developed).
- Check in with your receiver. How much does she feel? What does she feel? How much pressure feels good? How fast? etc. (don’t talk too much either, it can mentalize the process and create a buzzkill).
- Every now and then you can slide your hands up her breasts and connect her Yoni with her heart.
- Once you see that her outer lips and clitoris are swollen you know that she is ready.
- Ask if you are allowed to enter.
- Slowly and with presence insert your middle finger of your right hand into her Yoni. If the Yoni is truly ready she will naturally draw you into her temple.
- Very gently explore her inner parts. Feel her. Take all the time you need. Be super present.
- Press down, press towards the sides and up.
Perform Yoni Mapping:
- Start with a reflexology massage just a few centimeters inside the entrance wall of her Yoni.
- Press your index and middle finger up against the 12 o’clock position, just below the pubic bone (stay on each point a little bit and let her breathe into this area).
- Feel to find out whether she is holding anything physically or emotionally stored in each clock space.
- Then move to the 1 o’clock position, press, hold and breathe in. Feel.
- Do this with the entire clock rotation until you return to 12 o’clock again.
- On the 6 o’clock position it’s easiest to use your thumb, pressing down towards her anus.
- Move your fingers around her vaginal walls (with your index and middle finger), in circles, circling deeper and deeper inside.
- You want to gently touch every part of her vaginal walls. Check for tension, numb areas and knots. Stay there if she doesn’t feel anything, until she does feel something. Massage all knots out. Breathe through it, all the time, especially important in case she feels pain.
- Go to her G-spot (the G-spot is right inside the upper front wall).
- Use your middle and ring finger.
- You can press on the G-spot zone gently. Can you feel a spongy area? If you see that she is having pleasure, continue to press on it a bit harder, yes, even harder.
- Then start stimulating the area with a come-hither motion till she gets the feeling that she has to pee.
- Start moving your whole arm up and down, creating a vacuum around her G-spot (with the movement coming from the shoulders); it’s a bouncing sensation, the vagina might even smack a little. Then you’ll know you’re doing it correctly.
- When she gets the peeing feeling she has to ‘bear-down’ and almost ‘push out a little’.
- Her body will manifest sexual energy through the squirting orgasm. Don’t worry, it’s not pee. And if it is you have all those towels – remind her that she is safe to do it.
- Learn more tricks in my free ebook below.
Push your boundaries
Yoni massage is a therapy which can sometimes push our boundaries because it can release oceans of tears, anger and other emotions connected with our pain –both physical and mental – but it can also release great laughter, joy and deep pleasure which can in turn produce a heightened state of awareness. A tantric yoni massage can enable you to become aware of your creative feminine energy. This energy is very powerful and sometimes we are not ready for it, so we can feel confronted by all sorts of obstacles. But with a certain determination and willingness to be healed, we can push those boundaries and have beautiful break-throughs. These experiences are not just ecstasy-like states, they are highly spiritual. Even without believing in God we will feel like we are coming home.
Ok, I know I am trying to sell you yoni massages. But I can just talk from my own experience and it really worked for me. It did not just change my sex life completely, it changed my sense of who I am. My cunt was transformed into a holy temple and I am highly grateful for this transformation.
What’s the Code of Conduct for Yoni Massages?
As the settings for Yoni Massage can vary, this is unfortunately a bit of a vague area. If you practice with your intimate partner, the question might not be super important at all. If you go to a studio or a private practitioner, it’s crucial to be clear what the boundaries are.
In both scenarios the following applies: Yoni Massage does not include penile penetration. If you practice with your lover, and the receiver asks for it after a session, and you both feel like it, why not. But it’s not part of the massage itself, as the roles of the giver and the receiver tend to merge. In a professional surrounding, it obviously is not supposed to be part of the session, unless you have agreed to it beforehand. A professional massage therapist should be and stay dressed.
The fields of psychosexual bodywork have compiled ethics and codes, and they are also a good guideline for professionals in the area of Yoni Massage. If you’re uncertain, go through them with your potential giver:
Is there something similar for men?
Yes, wherever there’s yin there is also yang. The traditional pendant is called “Lingam Massage”. As you might have already guessed, lingam references the male penis in this context. As men and women are physiologically and energetically very different, the massages and their effects are quite different from each other. However the effects of a Lingam Massage can be very profound as well. You can read an intimate story about a Lingam Massage experience here. I also have an introductory article about Lingam Massage. And if you are still a bit shy on your lingam worshipper skills, listen to my cock lover podcast.
Wanna Learn More?
- Find out more about my Yoni Massage course
- Download my ebook
- Join one of my free online workshops: AUG 28, 2016
Illustration by Adam Dachis.