Open your mind and heart for a moment… I know, Yoni Massage is a delicate topic. There is some weird media coverage and many rumors about it out there.
But at the same time it’s the most powerful tool I have ever encountered. I have taught it to hundreds of women, men, and couples, and I claim that it is the number one practice for improving sexuality and intimacy.
Yoni Massage is not only practiced by hippies or shady “salons”. It has arrived in the mainstream, and that’s wonderful. It’s a blessing for every woman and couple on this earth who want to get in touch with their body and soul. It can heal traumas, help working through emotions, deepen the connection in a relationship, and help the receiver in developing deeper orgasms.
Maybe you are here because you have a feeling that this might be something for you and/or your lover? You’ve come to the right place. I’ve compiled an extensive writeup about everything you need to know. Enjoy this article – but even more important: Give Yoni Massage a try!
- The Concept of Worshipping the “Yoni”
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The Concept of Worshipping the “Yoni”
Ok, for everyone who is not on my page – I am talking about a massage for the vagina.
Yoni (pronounced Yo-nee) means, ‘holy temple or space’ in Sanskrit.
Receiving a Yoni massage actually means that this holy temple – your vagina – is being worshipped. Giving one is worshipping your partner’s.
Nowadays it is especially famous for the orgasmic effect that it has on women. But as we will learn, it is capable of much more than activating deep female orgasms.
The 3 Levels of Yoni Massage
1. It Works on the Level of Pleasure
While I wouldn’t say this is the primary, nor the most powerful level of Yoni Massage, I decided to list it first due to its mainstream popularity.
Most women, due to stress in daily life, little exercise, emotional tension and for other physical and psychological reasons, cannot orgasm easily or often have never had an orgasm at all.
Yoni massage offers a way to learn how to orgasm. Or how to increase the existing orgasmic sensation. Step by step the receiver is guided deeper into the pleasure. By learning to let go, and by consistent knocking on the doors to deep orgasms.
It’s important to note here, that by “deeper orgasms” I’m referring primarily to vaginal orgasms. The oh-so-famous clitoral orgasm is considered to be comparably shallow in Tantric environments. Especially when being compared to vaginal orgasms.
Yoni Massage is particularly helpful in going from none or only clitoral orgasms towards vaginal, full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.
Quite a promise, isn’t it? :)
We’ll go into the practical details further down – first let’s look at other levels of this practice.
2. It Works on the Level of Healing
Believe it or not, the female vagina actually stores traumas, emotions and all sorts of things. All our body parts do, according to Somatic Psychology. What makes the Yoni particularly interesting for working on this is its natural potential for sensitivity and pleasure in this connection.
In practice that means the giver will encounter, with the receiver’s feedback, numb areas, painful areas, or otherwise tense spots inside the vagina. Working on those areas, massaging them, can have surprising effects.
It’s not uncommon for women to experience intense emotional release in the form of laughter or crying. Some women report flashbacks into their past – including traumatic and deeply buried situations. Or even back into past lives.
For me personally, the aspect of emotional healing is incredible during Yoni Massage. Being a very emotional person, my partner is by now used to me crying and releasing those stuck emotions. And it’s wonderful!
While I’ve talked mainly about emotional healing so far, the effects of Yoni Massage are also physically beneficial. Especially as all the emotional clearance will have its positive effect on the physical body.
Also the common and unfortunate experience of pain during lovemaking eventually gets less and less over time when practicing Yoni Massage.
Obviously, if there is a severe physical condition in the receiver’s vagina, go to a doctor first!
3. It Works on the Level of Spirit
I’m aware that I’ll lose some readers with this paragraph – but it’s impossible to not include spirituality in a write-up of Yoni Massage.
After all, Yoni Massage comes from Tantra. And Tantra is a path (not a religion!) for reaching enlightenment. As simple as that. Tantra is not about sex as most people think – sex is just one of many tools.
So when looking specifically at Tantric Yoni Massage, the goal is making another step towards enlightenment.
What is good for every practitioner is that an orgasm in Tantra is considered as a glimpse of enlightenment.
The spiritual effects of this practice are – next to getting a glimpse of enlightenment while biting the pillow – that sexual energies are “spiritualized”.
Yoni Massage has a strong sublimation effect, which means energies are moved from the Sexual Chakra towards higher energy centers. This includes the very common effect of the receiver (often also the giver) feeling very spaced out after a session.
Next to these esoteric effects, one can also claim that the deep connection that will form between the giver and the receiver is also ultimately a spiritual effect. Caused by all that already mentioned potential of experiencing pleasure together, and going through emotional release.
Ok, quick summary: Yoni Massage works on the levels of healing, pleasure and spirit. All clear? Let’s move forward!
Where Does It Come From?
The Yoni Massage has its roots in the Neo-Tantric community which finds its inspiration in the Tantric tradition.
Tantra is a spiritual path to spiritual awakening. In one of the ancient texts known as the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, many methods of spiritual awakening are mentioned, and one of them is the meditation of touch:
”Sweet Princess whilst being caressed, enter the caress as ever-lasting life.”
says Shiva to Shakti
This text might describe a spiritual potential of touch, and suggest that through ‘caress’ an ever-lasting life or a glimpse of eternal life might be possible.
Every orgasm was described by the Indian Yogis as an opportunity to reach enlightenment – by awakening those orgasmic energies a portal to spiritual growth might open up.
The massage (which by the way can also be performed with clothes on, as at its core it is mainly an energetic practice) comes in various techniques from different schools of massage, combining elements from yoga, bioenergetics and sexual therapy. According to the Tantric Massage Association, it was developed in the 1980s by Andro Andreas Rothe, founder of Diamond Lotus Tantra Lounge, the first Tantra institute in Germany.
Many of Andro’s ideas are taken from the work of Wilhelm Reich, Carl Jung, Carl Rogers and Alexander Lowen. Mantak Chia and Joseph Kramer (who developed the Lingam Massage, the male counterpart) also contributed to the evolution of this practice. Annie Sprinkle further developed the practice of the hands-on Yoni Massage.
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What It Is
A Touch Worship Ritual
It is a full body oil massage which includes the female genitals. It’s performed in a sacred and safe environment on a woman or a person with a vagina. The sexual energy (female energy) and presence (masculine energy) are awakened.
A Dedicated Process
It includes around 1 hour full body relaxing warm up (skipping the genitals), 1 hour vaginal massage (meaning the relaxation and activation of the outer lips, inner lips, clitoris, perineal sponge, hymen, G-spot, vaginal canal, cervix and AFE zones,…)
Ecstatic & Transformative
It’s a liberating ecstatic experience that takes the receiver into another realm of pleasure. It includes the masculine and feminine energies, which means it’s a dance between relaxation and stimulation of the body and energies.
What Yoni Massage Is Not
An Erotic Massage
Erotic massage is only there to deliver pleasure to the receiver, or a “happy ending”. There is nothing wrong with that, but Yoni Massage takes this much further and is way more profound than that.
It helps the receiver to heal their womb and relationship with their Yoni. It helps to overcome negative associations with their sexuality and to connect with their body, to love their body more and to connect with their higher sexual self.
Yoni Massage works on the levels of healing, pleasure and spirit – while an erotic massage is only dedicated to the pleasure level.
The practice is not meant to be foreplay for a sexual encounter. Some techniques obviously can be adapted and used during foreplay. But a dedicated massage doesn’t involve penetration and has clear roles for the giver and the receiver.
The purpose is not to make a woman orgasm (even though most usually do). It certainly can have intentions, like increasing pleasure, and have healing and/or spiritual effects. However it is important to approach it with a mindset of openness for whatever is about to happen. Instead of having precise expectations.
Important: This tends to be easier for the receiver… it’s mostly the givers who approach the practice with expectations like “this time I’m gonna give it to her good”. Be aware of this!
A Woo-Woo Hippy Thing
Did you know that since the beginning of the Renaissance doctors have used orgasms as a recipe to cure the following diseases: (attention!) erotic fantasies, nymphomania, melancholia, nervousness, moments of unclarity and even breathing issues, insomnia…
Even though the reasons are a bit politically incorrect, the fact is they knew that orgasms (or sexual energy) have an effect on the body and mind. So it has been part of the mainstream ever since!
What’s in it for the Receiver?
First of all: While the giver can be of any sex, the receiver needs to have a vagina.
So ladies, if you care about your sexuality, the relationship you have towards your body, towards your vagina, this is for you!
As a receiver you will learn how to fully let go of your body tensions and any limitations that are in the way of expanding your sexual potential. You will learn how to deal with your mind (which might usually be what distracts you, right?).
You will also learn that you can feel your Yoni more consciously, which means that you will understand her anatomy better, learn where your orgasmic zones are. You’ll become way more aligned with your boundaries and by knowing them you will actually know what you need and what you don’t.
This practice is not just great for the receiver but if you practice it with your lover you actually will bond on a beautiful level. Many partners feel super connected and experience a soul touching closeness towards each other during this practice.
What’s in it for the Giver?
Giving a Yoni Massage to your partner or to somebody you feel close to, or to a client, is a true honor. You are the worshipper, you are the one holding this sacred and transformative space for the receiver. You are the one giving (unconditionally, which means you don’t want anything in return). Note: If you did want something back, the receiver would not be able to fully relax in order to go into her transformative space; she would hold back and think about the moment when it was going to be her ’give back’ turn.
The receiver needs to learn to fully let go, and in order to be able to do that she needs to trust that you have no other intentions, except serving her.
Women love to give and serve, and while they are doing it they forget how to receive. So you really want to make sure they can just relax and trust the process in itself.
You will learn to be more present with your lover. And you will especially learn how to feel her energies and give her what she needs in the moment.
By massaging her full body you’ll get to know her anatomy, including her intimate parts. You’ll learn about the female orgasmic anatomy. Which will teach you the essentials of becoming a skillful lover. You’ll be able to satisfy your partner(s) also at another time during sexual encounters.
My boyfriend dedicated an entire article to the effects that the giver can experience: 5 (Egoistic) Reasons Why Conscious Men Give Yoni Massages
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What Women Say About Yoni Massage
”The one word that comes to me is ‘profound’.
Yes, it was confronting and at the same time a blissful experience. Afterwards till to this moment I can feel the powers of ecstatic bliss that flowed through my body. Especially in the moment of surrender.”
– Judith (UK, London)
”The Yoni Massage made me connect with my powers of my Yoni fully. To share this with someone in a safe and open-minded setting was important for me to be able to let go. This is for all women who are ready to find a way back to themselves.”
– Lauren (Swiss, Geneva)
”Afterwards I felt pure bliss and quietness. I didn’t wanted to stop lying there in this innocent cosmic blanket and just experience those profound and deeply releasing experience. Magical! I know now that I am an amazing creation, with so much power and that I am able to go deeper into my spiritual realm. The massage took me right into a present moment and removed all clutter from my head.
– Kathrin (Germany, Stuttgart)
Step-By Step Guide to Giving a Yoni Massage
While there is the option to receive a professional Yoni Massage in a salon, many of my readers have been asking me how to learn this practice as a couple. That’s amazing! And in fact it is how I got into Yoni Massage too.
I had always had trouble reaching my climax during love making and also had pain and tension in my vaginal walls. After receiving Yoni massages from my partner I was able to release my tension. My pain went away because we massaged the little tension knots out that were responsible for the pain, and I could finally concentrate on the actual pleasure which made me climax.
Yoni Massage is a great, connecting ritual for couples. I highly recommend you give it a try.
Follow these steps – or if you want to dive deeper, check out my Yoni Massage Video Online Course, where I teach all the techniques and show a full massage on a real model:
Step 1: Preparation & Ingredients
Having enough time is crucial. Set aside at least 3 hours to make sure you have enough preparation time and relaxation time afterwards. Get some organic coconut oil for the oil Yoni Massage and a towel; a plastic cover sheet is optional for under her hips. The plastic sheet will actually make her feel even safer, so she’ll be able to fully relax (crucial for squirting).
Step 2: Setting the Mood & Breathing
It’s all about worshipping her temple. So make sure you are worshipping her temple in a temple. Set the mood: Turn on some candles, soft music, some aroma oil, velvet soft pillows. Anything to make her feel like a goddess.
Breathing is one of the most important parts of a Yoni Massage; deep abdominal breathing, not hyperventilating, is crucial to letting the energies flow and maximizing the effect. The receiver and the giver should both breathe deeply during the whole process. The giver will gently remind the receiver in case they go back to shallow breathing.
Step 3: Full Body Oil Massage
Heat the coconut oil in a water bath and massage her full body before you approach her Yoni. Don’t touch her Yoni until you are 100% sure she is fully relaxed (~45 min – 1 hr). Have the receiver lie on her belly and start with massaging her back. Use your intuition, you will know exactly what she needs. Stay in communication with her to find out if she prefers the massage stronger or lighter. Massage her feet, legs, bottom. Rub her sacrum to activate her sexual energies.
Let her turn and continue with her feet, legs, arms, neck, head, face before you start with her breasts. Dedicate a decent amount of time to the breasts, as a breast massage will already awaken some more sexual energy, including beneficial hormones to make the receiver even more relaxed. Then work your way down to the abdomen and make sure you gently do some circles, ensuring that your receiver is not tensing up.
Step 4: Approaching and Entering the Yoni
- Approach the Yoni. Ask the receiver if you are allowed to touch her Yoni. Acknowledge the Yoni by capping her with your hand and just let it be there for a moment to feel into her.
- Pour enough coconut oil over her mound, so it naturally flows down towards her entrance.
- Spend enough time on the outer parts of the lips, mound and inner tights. Awaken the outer area of the Yoni before approaching the inner parts. Don’t rush. This is really important.
- You can stretch her outer lips and rub them between your fingers. Gently squeeze the outer lips between the thumb and index finger.
- Slide along each outer lip and then along each inner lip (in case your receiver has them developed).
- Check in with your receiver. How much does she feel? What does she feel? How much pressure feels good? How fast? etc. (don’t talk too much either, it can mentalize the process and create a buzzkill).
- Every now and then you can slide your hands up her breasts and connect her Yoni with her heart.
- Once you see that her outer lips and clitoris are swollen you will know that she is ready.
- Ask if you are allowed to enter.
- Slowly and with presence insert your middle finger of your right hand into her Yoni. If the Yoni is truly ready she will naturally draw you into her temple.
- Very gently explore her inner parts. Feel her. Take all the time you need. Be super present.
- Press down, press towards the sides and up.
Step 5: Yoni Mapping
- Start with a reflexology massage just a few centimeters inside the entrance wall of her Yoni.
- Press your index and middle finger up against the 12 o’clock position, just below the pubic bone (stay on each point a little bit and let her breathe into this area).
- Feel to find out whether she is holding anything physically or emotionally stored in each clock space.
- Then move to the 1 o’clock position, press, hold and breathe in. Feel.
- Do this with the entire clock rotation until you return to 12 o’clock again.
- On the 6 o’clock position it’s easiest to use your thumb, pressing down towards her anus.
- Move your fingers around her vaginal walls (with your index and middle finger), in circles, circling deeper and deeper inside.
- You want to gently touch every part of her vaginal walls. Check for tension, numb areas and knots. Stay there if she doesn’t feel anything, until she does feel something. Massage all knots out. Breathe through it, all the time, especially important in case she feels pain.
Step 6: Going Deep
- Go to her G-spot (the G-spot is right inside the upper front wall).
- Use your middle and ring finger.
- You can press on the G-spot zone gently. Can you feel a spongy area? If you see that she is having pleasure, continue to press on it a bit harder, yes, even harder.
- Then start stimulating the area with a come-hither motion till she gets the feeling that she has to pee.
- Start moving your whole arm up and down, creating a vacuum around her G-spot (with the movement coming from the shoulders); it’s a bouncing sensation, the vagina might even smack a little. Then you’ll know you’re doing it correctly.
- When she gets the peeing feeling she has to ‘bear-down’ and almost ‘push out a little’.
- Her body will manifest sexual energy through the squirting orgasm. Don’t worry, it’s not pee. And if it is you have all those towels – remind her that she is safe to do it.
- After exploring the G-Spot, go deeper and continue to explore. There is so much to discover!
Step 7: Pushing Boundaries
Yoni massage is a therapy which can sometimes push our boundaries because it can release oceans of tears, anger and other emotions connected with our pain – both physical and mental – but it can also release great laughter, joy and deep pleasure which can, in turn, produce a heightened state of awareness.
A Yoni massage can enable the receiver to become aware of her creative feminine energy.
This energy is very powerful and sometimes we, the receivers, are not ready for it. So we can feel confronted by all sorts of obstacles. But with a certain determination and willingness to be healed, we can push those boundaries and have beautiful breakthroughs. These experiences are not just ecstasy-like states, they are highly spiritual. Even without believing in God we will feel like we are coming home.
Ok, I know it sounds like I am trying to sell you Yoni Massages. But I can just talk from my own experience and it really worked for me. It did not just change my sex life completely, it changed my sense of who I am. My view on my vagina was transformed. From something I felt disconnected from to a magic place I consult daily, my own unique private holy Yoni temple.
Step 8: Stillness
Once you arrive in a state where both of you feel that the massage is over, slowly fade out of the practice. You can meditate together, or she can stay lying in stillness while the giver meditates or contemplates the experience.
Is There a DIY Version of Yoni Massage?
Yes, we’re empowered women after all. There is a similar practice that you can do by yourself, if you don’t have a partner or friend you can practice this with. Or if you just feel like exploring your Yoni by yourself. In this article I explain to you every step that you can take all by yourself for an empowered and healed Yoni:
And this video guides you through your first Self Yoni Massage practice:
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Is There Something Similar for Men?
Yes, wherever there’s yin there is also yang. The traditional counterpart is called “Lingam Massage”.
As you might have already guessed, lingam references the male penis in this context. As men and women are physiologically and energetically very different, the massages and their effects are quite different from each other. However the effects of a Lingam Massage can be very profound as well.
I have an article dedicated to this topic specifically:
Getting a Professional Massage
If you want to experience a Yoni Massage given by a professional, that’s of course an option too. In the following parts, I’ll give you an overview of everything you need to know.
What Happens During a Session?
There are many different techniques and various styles of Yoni Massages.
Usually the Yoni Massage takes 2-3 hours. If you receive one in a professional Massage salon you want to make sure that you talk to the person first and get to know them a little bit. Make your decision based on whether you can trust them.
The therapist can be either a man or a woman. Make sure to consider what will help you let go more. Or maybe you don’t mind at all.
The masseuse will perform this practice clothed. They will usually explain to you exactly what will happen and guide you through the sacred process in a safe and open manner.
You will remove your clothes and usually lie down on a massage mat or table. Sometimes the giver will take you into a moment of presence through meditation or relaxation technique.
The next step is a full body oil massage (skipping your genitals for now). This is all about relaxing your body and relaxing your mind from the clutter you don’t need. It might take from 45 minutes – 1.5 hrs. Once the masseuse feels that you are relaxed enough they usually start introducing the Yoni Massage. They’ll guide you step-by-step through it, helping you to relax but at the same time being present with your body sensations.
The masseuse will guide the energies in a way that are beneficial to you. They will activate your sexual energies and guide them to places where you might experience pain and tension. It’s a conscious process of awareness and letting go of emotions.
Note: Things like kissing or penetration with something else than the masseuse’s finger should never happen during a professional massage!
What Does It Cost?
Usually a professional Tantric Massage performed by a trained masseuse costs between $150-300 (depending on the duration).
Where to find the right salon
In many cities Tantric-massage temples have sprung up like wild mushrooms.
Some of the erotic massage parlors write things like: “the Yoni massage is a ritual of receiving sensual sexual energy flowing through the entire body”, or “Tantric massage will give your soul and body erotic bliss of a kind unheard of before, and make you disappear into the abyss of rich emotional experiences”.
That all sounds beautiful but it’s not always easy to find the right Yoni Parlor.
Ideally it should be a studio which is professional, clean – a safe place where you can easily feel relaxed, with friendly people you can connect with.
Most people don’t even think about booking one of these sessions because they can’t find a place that fulfills at least the basic conditions. Or because they are not comfortable about being touched by a stranger.
I can totally understand that.
I’ve written a small guide on how to find the right salon.
What are the Rules/Code of Conduct?
As the settings for Yoni Massage can vary, this is unfortunately a bit of a vague area. If you practice with your intimate partner, the question might not be super important at all. If you go to a studio or a private practitioner, it’s crucial to be clear what the boundaries are.
In both scenarios the following applies: Yoni Massage does not include penile penetration.
If you practice with your lover, and the receiver asks for it after a session, and you both feel like it, why not. But it’s not part of the massage itself, as the roles of the giver and the receiver tend to merge.
In a professional surrounding, it is obviously not supposed to be part of the session. A professional massage therapist should be and stay dressed.
The fields of psychosexual bodywork have compiled ethics and codes, and they are also a good guideline for professionals in the area of Yoni Massage. If you’re uncertain, go through them with your potential giver:
Wow, what an extensive write-up this has become. I hope you get the information out of it that you were looking for. If you are hungry to learn even more, I recommend you the following:
- Take my Tantric Yoni Massage video course
- See if you can catch one of my Free Online Workshops
- Download my ebook