You are stressed? Working full-time and coming home late? Is your sex life suffering because there is almost no energy left for regular passionate conscious sex (Sundays only doesn’t count!)? Then listen to this podcast and get inspired by some down to earth tips.
In this episode, I go into detail about:
- How to integrate sex into our daily life?
- Why it’s all about our priorities?
- Some down-to-earth tips on making room for sex regularly
Links and resources mentioned:
- Miranda Gray: The Optimized Women
- Menstrual Cycle Tracking Apps
- Read my articles on maintaining a healthy your libido here, here and here.
Hey everyone! Welcome to this Orgasmic Podcast show. I am Mariah Freya, and I am so grateful you are listening to this show. It is actually really early in the morning. The sun is shining in my kitchen right now, and it is such a beautiful autumn day. I love the light of this golden time, and also a time of going slowly inwards and reflecting on things that happened last year.
Anyway, I wanted to share a few things with you before we start into the today’s topic. I actually organized my first women circle here in Munich, which was such a great success. I can highly recommend, you just pop on meet-up group or any meet-up dot com, or any kind of group, platform, and organize a women’s group yourself. It is so beneficial and it is so inspiring. I organized it in my bedroom. Because right now, that is the place I have here in Munich.
It was so beautiful to see eight women dancing in my bedroom, just sharing what they have, where they at. Just being around this feminine energy is so rewarding. So, I just kept this ball rolling. This week is actually the second, and they already sign-upped twelve other women. So, I am super excited to see that happening.
Heard by one of my clients, she send me this topic because she felt they needed some information on it, and that might also be really useful for every one of you. So, I just decided to take her advice and her idea and to just get this thing out. It is about how can we integrate a healthy and active sex life when we are stressed, when we have a lot of work to do, when we are busy people in the world doing lots of things.
How to get things done and enjoy an active sex life? So, this is today’s topic. Most of you out there, especially in the rest, many women and men are very focused on their careers and on their passions, or just being in a random job and just having lots of work to do.
Then you come home late evening, and first thing you do is probably not, “Let us have that sex!” No. The first thing you do is, “Oh, my God! I am so hungry! I just want to watch TV and then, go to bed.” Yep. That is quite a normal state of living, and it is totally fine to have those moments and just enjoy the rest of the evening on a very lazy couch.
But I can actually highly recommend you to bring awareness into this. Why are you not wanting sex after a long day? Seeing your lover, being excited about him. Well, of course, there is not much energy left. So, how can we maintain this energy? How can we sustain it and be sustainable with it? Especially, this goes to all the workaholics out there.
How can we sustain this in order to have an active sex life? Does not mean only sex on Sunday because that does not count, I mean regular sex. Every two days or so, or whatever you think is regular. That can be very different from people to people. But I would say, something between on a daily basis up to every two or three days. I would see as a regular active sex life.
I guess, it really depends, of course, on your relationship as well as your lover. And is it a long-term relationship? Is there still juice in it? Is there still a lot of passion and desire? You love her so much. And whenever you are separated for those eight to ten hours you are working, you just desire him so much. That is mostly when you are fresh together, when you are still super much in love with each other. But what about those long-term relationship? At the same time, integrate what you want to do and what you want to reach in your life. But also, have a beautiful, harmonious relationship, which also means an active sex life.
The first tip I would give you when it comes to, how to get things done and enjoy an active sex life, is have less stress. That is, of course, easy set and done. But it is about this aspect of burn out. We all know it, and it is so important. Because if you really want to reach things and if you want to get things done, you do things step-by-step and not everything once, because that is too overwhelming and it does not help anyone.
We really need to be in touch with our body. How much energy does our body have in this very moment? And that is especially for women out there, regarding the menstrual cycle. There are just certain times in our cycle which are best for getting things done. You can check out the Optimized Woman by Miranda Gray, which is a bible when it comes to studying our menstrual cycle and how to use the optimum time in optimum way to get things done.
She says, in expressive face, which is right after your menstruation, reflects your face. So the more going inwards face, is the worst time of getting things done. You should just rest and stood almost nothing. But after that, the second week of your cycle is the best way of getting things done, Also, the most active in sex, and all that.
For men, it is a bit more trickier because you do not have those obvious signs. But also, men have certain cycles, and they can become aware of your ups and downs over the months. Sometimes, they even aligned to their woman of they live in the same household.
I was talking about burn out, and I think, it is something to honor our self also this time. Like I, myself, sometimes don’t give myself a few minutes of rest because I think, “No, no. I can do so much for those few minutes.” But actually, we do not especially if we are not full on with energy and concentration and decreasing and all that.
So, have first of all, less stress in your life. Really try to find a life balance. Try to have your weekends off, especially for those self-employed people out there, including me. Do not work on weekends, even if that means a little less money. But your life quality will increase and so will your libido. Because if you have less stress, you will have much more vitality in the evening after work, and also on the weekends. Just enjoy a beautiful, loving, juicy time with your lover.
The next tip would be, schedule your lovemaking. This might sound really strange to you, but it is super effective. I normally always give this tip out for my clients who are real busy, who have lots to do during day, and who hardly find any time for those important things like sex.
Just get your word. If your schedule is full, then you just have to make time for it. And that means, scheduled into your book, both of you, your lover and you. It is really a meddle of awareness and consciousness bringing more time, for sex, into our lives.
It is a conscious decision we can make. If we decide to go on full carrier and following our goals and whatever, of course we are going on full power on this path and we might neglect other aspects in our lives. But as sex is such an important thing, come on, and it is helping us actually on our careers. Because making love, you actually gain vitality. You boost your libido. The more sex you have, the more vital you are, which is a great positive effect in your career.
Schedule you lovemaking. This is really a good one, and a very practical one. But I can also recommend you to, do not have everything scheduled because sex actually leaves out spontaneity. And if you are only having it, like Sunday afternoon, Wednesday morning, Thursday evening, whatever, it becomes also, after sometime, quite stagnant.
Be flexible as well, which actually comes to my next point because that is a bit more juicing up your spontaneity or your flexibility. And it is quite not for everyone. You could, for example, have a work break. Maybe you take two hours off during your work day, and you just rent a motel nearby with your lover. That can be something really beautiful, like a little spa, motel. And you just have a really passionate quickie there.
Another more local’s opportunity would be, you sneak in your lover in your companies’ store room and have some sassy, quickie over there. That would be really cool to have actually. I have never done it, but it is quite a nice fantasy. But for sure not for everyone. Especially the fear of getting caught by our colleagues, might be a bit too scary. But I think if we look into our teenage years, how about school back then? Have not you have some quickies with your lovers somewhere in the store room in your school? Anyway, it can be quite inspiring to have some fun action going there.
The next one is actually quite a mental process, which I am proposing to get things done and enjoy, at the same time, an active sex life. It is to move sex up your priority list. This aspect is great for your health. You get a lot of positive, loving hormones; Oxytocin, Dopamine, all that, which helps you in the daily life to focus, to be vibrant, to have aphorism, which is great also for your job and your career, and whatever you want to reach.
Sex needs to be on your Top Ten Priority List. I would say, number two or even one. It is also stress-reducing. So if you have much to do, you come home late, have a bit of a lazy sexual session but with awareness, of course, not just choking off and that is it. Really being aware with your lover and getting in touch with him, and kind of feeling into their day as well, just see it as something that helps you to overcome your stress and helps you to be more efficient in your daily tasks.
And then, the next one has again to do with those scheduling thing, because it is quite a helpful tool for very busy people to have those “us time” slots. So, I suggest together, for example, if one of you comes early home, you can prepare already the bedroom, right? You can make it beautiful. You can light some candles on. You can dress up beautifully, if the woman comes home earlier. You can prepare some oils, and have some massage together, which is so relaxing, and at the same time, super connecting.
Create rituals together. You do not have to have a lot of knowledge about them, like tantric rituals, or whatever rituals out there. It can be even little rituals you create yourself. And it is actually quite fun to do that.
So, I have two more. And I think both of them are kind of interesting, and actually quite important. The second last one is, initiate more. It is, of course, a little bit contradicting if you have so much to do during the day. And then, you have to initiate even, “Oh my God! So much energy.” No. But it is actually very rewarding. Just think about it. Your man comes home, and you just sit in the kitchen, and trample him. He will love that and you will love it too because it is just going to connect you immediately. But of course, you can give him some time, and then, you trample him, if he really looks like he needs a shower, But it is something we need to think about more. Initiating more.
Of course, there might be some things. You have kids at home, so it is not that easy to just jump on each other right away. You have to do certain things before you can do that. But have it more in mind. Be spontaneous with initiating, especially women tends to source that out.
Often, they just rely on the man. Well, he initiates, so let us go for it. But we have needs to, and sometimes we do not really listen to those needs, especially training those initiating, helps us also in our daily life with being more proactive, being active in general, and doing things because we really want them to do. So, they help us to be more clear on what we want in our daily life. Initiate more.
Thank you for listening to my show
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